Direct Life Coaching Blog

Archives

Browse archives by date:

Subscribe

Enter your email address to get the Direct Life Coaching newsletter:

Your email will be use only for sending you site updates and won't be otherwise sold or shared.

Free Coaching Call

Contact Travis for a free one-on-one call.

Buy My Book

book cover my autoblography: 2006
by Travis Thomas

Pricing & more info...

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Go out on a limb...

"Go out on a limb, that is where the fruit is!"

A friend sent me this quote last week...and I love it! Think about it, when in your life have you achieved a great goal by "playing it safe?" Never. If you have...I would question just how great an achievement it really was...and do you feel good about it?

In improvisation, we teach students to take risks. By taking a risk, you force yourself out of your comfort zone and into a new place...a scary but extremely rewarding place. And, once you have ventured into this new place...you never want to go back. Safe becomes impossible...it is no longer who you are. The quote we share with students all the time is, "Jump...and the net will appear!" You get to a point where you can only progress by taking a leap of faith. You don't know what it is going to be like, how messy it might get, and how foolish you will look, but you can't get any better until you make that leap. Once you do, brilliant or not...you never regret the attempt. No one ever says, "Wow...what a safe choice he made...this is really interesting!"

Safe stinks! Einstein, Jobs, King Jr., Lincoln, Jordan, and any other great innovator out there didn't do so by taking the safe route. When you have a vision and nothing else in life will satisfy you...the only left to do is get out on that limb. Whether your branch breaks or not, you will feel the satisfaction of taking the risk.

For me, taking a risk means that I am turning my life, motives, guidance, and protection over to Love, Spirit. It means I am putting everything in God's hands (not my personal ego) and knowing that win or lose...I will become a better and wiser person. The truth is, events seldom come out the way we expected. But when you trust enough to make that leap. you are able to adjust to whatever life throws at you...and in many cases...the result is even better than you planned.

Fear, doubt, timidity, laziness, arrogance, apathy, criticism, and sarcasm are all qualities that prevent you from making that jump. If you don't kill them, they will keep you where you are forever...are you okay with that?

One of my favorite quotes from my favorite book says, "Trials are proofs of God's care. Spiritual development germinates not from seed sown in the soil of material hopes, but when these decay, Love propagates anew the higher joys of Spirit, which have no taint of earth. Each successive stage of experience unfolds new views of divine goodness and love."

Trials force us to grow and become better. Avoiding trials or taking the easy way out prevents us from overcoming the experiences that we should be learning from.

So, what limb have you been dying to walk out on? Let me know...and I'll give you a nudge or a push ;)

Come on out...the fruit is tasty!!!

Travis

PS - I will be out of town for a few weeks...so talk to you soon!

0 comments link to this entry

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Seriously...You're not that important.

"Laughter is the voice of human triumph!" --Phyllis Tickle

Back in September of 2001, just a few weeks after 9/11...I was hosting a live chat event with then Religion Editor of Publisher's Weekly Magazine, Phyllis Tickle, when she made the above quote. It was in response to this question, "When is it okay to laugh again?"

Pretty powerful response during a very sensitive time, and I think of that response often.

Working in comedy myself, the biggest joy for me is being able to make someone laugh...to entertain. There is little in life that has brought a bigger rush than those moments...of knowing that the audience is having a great time.

Growing up...I was a good kid, but I got hurt a lot, I embarrassed myself a lot, I was a klutz, had a bad case of buck-teeth among other things...so I learned to be tough skinned. I think my sense of humor as I got older was a result of learning to laugh at my screw-ups and unfortunate events as a kid.

As a society...especially when it comes to our careers...we take ourselves WAY TOO SERIOUSLY! We put so much importance on the field we work in, salary, job title, where our office is located, parking spot, and whether or not the boss liked my idea or not. (Did you notice how he grimaced when I made that suggestion...is it just me or am I getting fired?) Basically, we take ourselves very seriously.

The funny thing is...we love playing out the drama when things go bad. We love "acting out" what we think we are supposed to be feeling...even if we don't really feel that way. We see it on TV, we see it in the movies...it makes for great entertainment...but we don't need to make it our reality.

Think about this...the only difference between a drama and a comedy...is how you respond. Do you make it a Seinfeld moment...or an ER tragedy (Must See Thursday's!!!!!)

It's your TV show...your movie...and your response dictates whether you take the serious route or choose to find the humor (even if it's not very funny). But you can choose!

A couple of weeks ago I started not feeling well after dinner. I knew I needed to throw-up, but it was taking forever. Finally, it was time, so I got on all four's, leaned over the toilet, and...you know. But, I got this pain in my chest that hurt so bad...the next thing I know I was waking up on the bathroom floor.

I couldn't figure it out...I could hear the TV...the floor was cold...and I figured out that I must have passed out. As I got up I realized I was bleeding over my eye...because I must have hit my head on the toilet seat. So, I got up, sat on the toilet seat to get my senses...and then started laughing. My stomach still felt awful...but it was a funny turn of events. I looked like I got in a fistfight, but the only culprit was the toilet seat (Yeah, but you should see the seat!).

The next morning I was fine...I told my wife what happened...and she felt awful that she couldn't help. I said, "Why? I thought it was funny. No use making it more than it was." And that was that.

I love the Bible, but I am not a Bible scholar. I am positive though that there are many characters in the Bible who had to find themselves laughing at their difficult circumstances. Did Noah ever take a step back and ponder what he was doing...or did Moses look out across the sea and think to himself, "I'm not getting punk'd here...am I?" And Jesus...when he told the group of men looking to stone the woman, "Those who have not sinned among you, cast the first stone." Is it possible he was thinking after saying that, "Ewwwww...I hope this works!"

Inside, I just think that if we don't always take ourselves so seriously...we will be better equipped not to respond so seriously. If you go back to Phyllis' quote, or another popular quote that "Laughter is the best medicine," you begin to see that laughter and humor represent strength. It is the ability to detach yourself from all of the drama surrounding a difficult situation, and find a higher perspective. Mainly, the sun will rise in the morning, people still love you, and God is still in control. Because really, as soon as we begin to believe that we are the one in control...than it is definitely time for a reality/spiritual check...a reminder that Love, Spirit, Mind is in control, and all we need to do is connect with that goodness. Even if you did just accidentally offend someone and now have your foot stuck in your mouth.

The next time you are feeling the pressure, feeling like your toes are being stepped on, or really just screwed up. Relax, laugh, and triumph. You’re probably not that important anyway ;) I’m joking…but seriously folks…

Now, if you will excuse me...I am going to go head-butt some more inanimate objects!!

--Travis

3 comments link to this entry

Monday, June 12, 2006

Don't look down!

(I had two ideas bouncing around in my head this week...but the blog below won out in the end...)

You ever noticed when someone is scared of heights...and they are going to be high above the ground...people always tell them to "Don't look down!" Why?

I know the obvious reason. You look down...you see how far you are above the ground...and you get scared...dizzy...feaked out...end of story.

Don't look down! Here's another way to look at it.

In college, our soccer coach would run us like dogs (apparently dogs badly out of shape)...and then run us some more. Whenever we were given a momentary break to catch our breath, we had to keep our hands on our head instead of keeling over and resting on our knees.

Why?

Two reasons. 1) Keeping your hands on your head opens up your lungs and allows air into your lungs faster. 2) Keeling over, looking down...it's a sign of defeat...weakness...and selfishness.

Selfishness?

Yup. When you look down you lose focus of everything else except yourself. You wallow in your own misery. You become self-centered.

Now, put your hands on your head. You "open" yourself up...you can see ahead, beside, and all around. You can make eye contact with others and stay connected. You're still in the game...just getting a breather.

How many times in life do we look down instead of putting our hands on our head? Have you done it at work recently?

I did it today.

A video project I had already put 3+ hours of work into crashed on me...gone! I seethed...wanted to break something...and I hung my head in defeat. The video needs to be done...so I needed to get my head up. I went for a run.

On my run it hit me. "What are you going to do? Pout. Sulk. Moan and whine. Curse technology (already did that)." "Anger and frustration will only keep you looking down...so you better get your head up!"

I did. Not only did I need to get my head up...I needed to get my thoughts up as well! I connected with Love...and tried to see this minor setback in the big picture. I knew Spirit was still leading me and overseeing this project, so there was no reason to doubt God or to get caught up in the unfairness of losing the project.

So, how did it come out? Well...it's looming next to me on my other computer...so I guess I better get busy. But, I'm not looking down...not feeling down...and grateful I was able to turn this unfortunate event into another blog ;)

Have a great week everyone!

-Travis

2 comments link to this entry

Tuesday, June 6, 2006

Zoom Zoom!

I was struggling on what to blog about this week…so I went for a run…and it became so clear…and here it is…

My wife is a photographer. She takes great pictures. Anyway, when I play with her camera…I love using the manual zoom and just zooming in and out with the lens. You can zoom really close…but then pull back and look at a wide view.

That is life.

What?

Intentionally and non-intentionally…we live life going back and forth from the close-ups and the wide-angle shots. The funny thing is, if you only stay at one of those perspectives…you never really get the whole picture. Here’s an example.

I used to work with Sunday School students. I would tell them to stand directly in front of the wall…and then describe to me what they see. In great detail they could explain everything in front of them…even the minute. Then, I would ask them to describe the rest of the room, and then things got a little fuzzy. “Uhhh…there’s a chair, a light, carpet I think, a weird teacher, and a rug…I don’t know?”

Why the difficulty?

Well, their view was too small (except for the weird teacher)…too limited…too specific. They couldn’t see the big picture because they were too focused on what was directly in front of them. To see the bigger room...they needed to zoom out…and take a wider perspective.

Now reverse the process. Same results, just opposite.

From a wide view, you can see the landscape, emerging patterns…the big picture. But, from that view…it is tough to see the specificity. So, you need to zoom in where needed.

The best way I can sum it up is like this: If you get to caught up in the small picture…you can lose perspective. When you only watch from a distance…you lose relevance. Your view is either too limited to see the greater picture, or too broad and out of touch.

What is the answer?

Just like that manual zoom lens…you need to be able to do both. The key is being conscious enough to know when to zoom in and when to zoom out…and just knowing that you have that choice in the first place.

For me, Spirit allows me to do both. When I am feeling too stressed or stuck with a current situation, I know I need to “pull-back” and look at it from a wider, more spiritual view. I need to view it the way Spirit, God, Love views it.

Conversely, if you stay too Divine, you might distance yourself from taking any needed steps. There is a fine line from being “in the world, but not of it.” I believe you need to be able to be in the world so you can see what needs to be corrected in your life (or the world), but not “in it” to the degree that you forget that Spirit is ultimately in control guiding the way…not you.

Everyday, we are tempted to get sucked into situations and dramas that keep us too close to the problem. This happens daily at work from balancing responsibilities, workload, deadlines, and all of the politics in any given office. Knowing that you can “zoom out” to a more spiritual approach gives you the opportunity to look at these situations from a less personal perspective, and then feel led to take the most appropriate action.

Recently, my improv partners and I met to discuss our strategy for the next 6-9 months. We all agreed on some pretty big goals and knew that we needed to increase the focus and commitment of the group to achieve them. A few days later, one of the newer members of the group let us know that she could no longer continue with us. She was having to make some life choices for she and her family, and felt she needed to step away for the time. This was difficult to hear because this was a person we have come to love for her talent and qualities, so it felt like there was a void.

That was from the “zoomed in” perspective.

Once I was able to “let go” and view the situation from Spirit on my wide-lens…I could see that this was just a natural result of the shift the three of us partners had made days before. She knew nothing of our meeting, so on the surface it seemed coincidental that her e-mail would come just days after we decided we needed to ramp things up. It was better for everyone involved to confront this and handle it now, instead of months down the road when we all had more energy invested. Since this is happening now, it is still difficult news, but we are grateful to know where we stand.

So, instead of staying too close to the situation and wallowing in disappointment, I felt grateful for being able to step back, look at the BIG PICTURE…and see how Spirit has been right there the whole time guiding the way…for everyone.

So, how are you using your lens?

--Travis

PS - If you want a great book that teaches you how to do this in the work world, check out "Orbitting the Giant Hairball" by Gordon Mackenzie.

2 comments link to this entry