Direct Life Coaching

Growing up we are taught this:

(A)Born -----------> (B)School -----------> (C)Career/Family/Both ------> (D)Die

It's so simple, a natural linear progression, and everyone does it. What we aren't taught is what that line really looks like when you take a closer look. (I mean really, really close)...

(You'll have to excuse me...I spent forever creating this intensely chaotic diagram, only to find out it didn't transfer when I posted the blog...so, let's just get to it!)

Life is not linear!

Boy do we try to make it that way though. Whew! School...ugh...could we make education any MORE linear? Yet, most of us agree that real education happens when we are inspired, entertained, and often when we don't even know we are being taught!

The "corporate ladder" is not called a LADDER by mistake. You have to "start at the bottom rung" and climb your way up to the top! So, most corporate models are linearly structured (click here for alternative). There is a boss (very important) and then there are managers (pretty important) and then there is the new guy (no cream in my coffee newbie!).

Heck, we even number our year's of existence on the planet. Why?...so that we can force our loved one's to come up with new ways of saying, "Hey...you're still alive...congratulations!"

Yet, does life ever really feel linear?

Google Maps tells you how to get from Point A to Point B...but they don't tell you about running over a screw in the road and blowing out your tire...only to be helped by a tow truck driver named Max whose sister-in-law went to your alma matter...and come to find out...she's looking for an editor for the book she is working on. Hey...you were on your way to a job interview before you got sidetracked. So, you take the job all the way across country with the sister-in-law, only to find out 6 months later you don't want to be an editor, but instead always wanted to open a seashell shop on the boardwalk. Then one day while you are pricing out Formica counter tops for your display table you meet a guy named Lewis who you fall in love with...get married...have three kids...one of which who goes on to become a professional golfer on the PGA!

Crazy stuff...right? Or is it? Have you ever looked back at your life and written it out in a linear fashion? Maybe your child didn't grow up to become a professional golfer, but I bet the chain of events seems a lot more random when you try to write them out in a sequential manner.

What does this all mean?

We spend most of our lives worrying, sweating, and trying to control its sequence of events. Something none of us can do (even if there is a CEO in front of our name). When things don't go the way we planned, we blame it on chaos or bad luck, never stopping for a second to question or even appreciate the new opportunity before us. But, if we took a moment and thought about where we are today, we can probably look back and see how events that seemed random (even chaotic) at the time, actually helped prepare us for the life we are living now. Am I wrong?

For instance, what does fast food, soccer, parenthood, spirituality, improvisation, anger management, marriage, Organizational Democracy, midwives, juggling, college friends, SpoTJ blogs, and real estate all have in common?

Chaotic...right?

Linearly...yes...they are chaotic! But, when you look at them as a tapestry, or better yet...A SPIDER WEB...they are all connected. Some may hold more impact than others...but they are all connected...and they all make me who I am. Take one of them out of the mix...just one...and my life is probably drastically different. The Web wouldn't be as strong!

It's not clean, it's messy...BUT WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MESS IT IS!!!

There are no "throw-away" events in your life. Everything has value. Every decision teaches you something new. If something didn't work out the way you expected, don't write it off! You never know how the result of that event may help you down the road.

Like life...spirituality is not linear. Sure, there seems to be a "mountain to climb" involving our spiritual growth...but do you think the path to get there is set in stone? Do you think there's a chair lift? Or, are there a lot of paths and secret hideaways that we find along the way?

So, what does your mess (I mean web) look like? Do yourself a favor, sit down right now and write down your life as linearly as possible. If it looks as boring as a straight line...I'll send you $20 and an apology!

V R Y!!
H E G E D
A A AT A

(Have a great day! Okay...that's didn't translate either)

Travis

It was innocent enough. My wife and I, with our two young kids in tow decided to take a different way home on a recent evening walk. We never go left, we never go that way home, but why not tonight? So we did.

We were walking on a private alley when we passed a woman and two young boys playing with a guinea pig. They were nice, we said hello, letting our two kids see the pig, but still moving along. Then, there was the critical moment, do we stop and introduce ourselves, or just smile and keep heading home. It was late, we needed to get the kids to bed, but...we stopped and introduced ourselves.

We small talked, and the woman mentioned something about schools which peaked my wife's interest, and our new friend insisted on introducing my wife to her friend a few houses away. I took our youngest child and went home, and my wife and daughter went off to meet this neighbor.

When my wife got home she was floored. Not only did she learn some valuable information about schooling that she desperately needed, these two women discussed their desire to meet up with some sort of spiritual group that they could really get involved and connected with. So, the three of them spoke about spirituality for a while, and the next day my wife dropped off some information they were looking for. Being that my wife and I are apart of a real informal and welcoming spiritual group, this was really good news. Will we see them at our next meeting...we'll see? (They could be reading this...be nice!)

Later that night my wife and I laughed about the guinea pig. We both had the same feeling that we could either be cordial and just keep walking, or stop and make a bigger effort to get to know a neighbor. And, why did we decide to take a different way home that night...coincidence?

Maybe...but that's not very exciting ;)

I get discouraged in myself every time I start to doubt God's direction in my life. As evidence in my last blog...I often have these "Are you really guiding me God?" moments in my life. Yet, when I look back on where my path has taken me thus far, it is so evident that Spirit's guidance was encouraging me in the right direction, even if at that time I was making a decision for another reason.

My wife and I have been married nearly 10 years, and we have made three big moves. Each time, I thought the move was for one reason, but in the end, I can look back and see that God was urging me along for something bigger and better than I could have planned.

I think that is why the quality of listening and spiritual intuition is so important. We are really trying to connect with that spiritual guidance, it means listening, trusting, and following through with decisions that don't always make the most sense at the time. It might not make a whole lot of logical sense at the time, but by trusting that spiritual gut feeling, you are getting yourself out of the way and letting Love's (God's) plan unfold. For me, the key is not to be the compass, but to let the compass lead me.

So, sometimes listening to that spiritual compass means making a move across the country...and sometimes it means stopping to chat with a guinea pig.

How have you felt led recently?

Much love!

Travis

This week I was having one of those "What am I doing with my life" kind of days. I have them every once in awhile. Like I mentioned in my last blog, I sometimes question decisions I have made and wonder if I am really taking care of my family and doing the right thing. Turning to God, Spirit, and evaluating my motives of what I am doing usually puts me back on track and feeling good about things.

This past week, I was excited about a potentially big decision that would really boost my improvisation business into gear. It was a decision I had nothing to do with, so I had to sit on the sidelines and see how it played out. Well, it didn't really fall the way I hoped, and that threw me into a mini-funk. I knew I was in a funk, my knew I was in a funk, and I was really trying to get out of it...but I was enjoying feeling sorry for myself.

I had to get up to the theater that night to teach an improv class, and on the drive I was praying and talking to God, asking for some direction and comfort, and really needing a kick in the pants. I needed to express some gratitude, but I didn't feel like it.

As I was talking to God, I was just looking for some reassurance. I wanted to feel that everything was still okay. Just then I found myself following a cement truck with a sign on the back of the truck that read, "If you can't see my mirrors, I can't see you!" I have read this message on trucks a million times. They're for your own safety...mainly...if you can't see the side mirrors of the truck, then the truck driver can't see your car...which is not a good thing.

But, as I read it this time...it took on a larger meaning. In that moment I was really feeling disconnected from Love and wanted a sign of hope. But...

THE SIGN REVERSED MY PERSPECTIVE!!!

God didn't need to show me She loved me...but rather...I needed to see the God's love that was already there. I needed to stay in view of God's mirrors, and by doing so...I was being seen by God.

Mirrors...being seen in God's mirrors means I am seeing my reflection of Spirit. Instead of being out of view, I am present in God's perfection. I can feel God's love because I am forcing myself to recognize, accept, and keep the truth about God always in view. Not the other way around.

God does not need to do anything to show me She loves me. I am here aren't I. God doesn't need to show Herself to me...I NEED TO SHOW MYSELF TO GOD!!

God's goodness and perfection doesn't change. I just need to get in view of God's mirrors.

It has been less than a week now since the rough day. I would love to say that a better opportunity has come along and washed away my frustration from last week...but it hasn't. But, I am no longer feeling the sorrow, but instead counting the number of blessings I already have to be grateful for...knowing that Love is guiding my path, and that all I need to do is stay in God's view.

Plus, I can't forget, the truck I was following was a cement truck...so I guess that is a firm foundation to build on ;)

Much love!

Travis

My family and I just got back from being in Michigan for a week. It was a great time seeing family I only see once or twice a year...catching up on everything new going on...and just enjoying being together.

One of the things that bothered me was finding out that a few of my family members don't do too well when it comes to sleep. For the most part, due to different things from the past, they can't get good sleep because they keep reliving different events, as well as worrying about the future.

Over the years I have lost a few nights of sleep, but I can probably count the number of sleepless nights on one hand. When my head hits the pillow, the sandman does the rest. No matter how many things are going on in my life, or how much my head is swimming with things to do...I sleep like a baby.

So...why do some people keep themselves up thinking all night...while others are out before the lights are off?

Well, based on my extensive research from watching crime shows...detectives say you can always tell if a criminal is guilty based on how they sleep their first night in jail. If they are innocent, they have restless sleep worrying about how to prove their innocence. If they are guilty, they know they are caught, so they sleep like a baby. Okay...maybe not that simple...but there is something to this logic.

What is it that really prevents us from sleeping?

Worry, fear, doubt, anxiety (and all related qualities).

I think we can all relate to decisions or times in our life when an event or situation overwhelms us. It could be a project at work, a deadline looming overhead, or a tough choice that needs to be made. It occupies all our thoughts to the point of paralyzing us from being able to do much else. So, even when it comes to sleep, we can't calm our thought down enough to find peace and catch some sleep.

What do you do?

For me, it boils down to remembering who and what is ultimately in control of my life (although my wife say that my ignorance is my bliss).

This is something I thought a lot about while being in Michigan. Since I have become a free-agent and steady income hasn't been always so steady...I have been tempted to get crippled with fear. It doesn't help when you run into people where money and income isn't even an issue for them at all...so then I start to think about the decisions I have made and am making and I begin to doubt whether I am doing the right thing?

Am I being foolish? Irresponsible? What about your wife and two kids?

These are the thoughts I was dealing with on the plane ride home. Maybe I am not doing the right thing...ugh...what am I doing?

I was forced to go back to square one...back to Spirit, God, Love, and think about the abundance and boundless power that has taken, is taking, and will always take care of my family and me. I think back to where my life has taken me, the crazy events that has brought me to where I am today, and how things that seemed coincidental at the time were really part of a greater plan of Love guiding and leading me everyday.

Turning to my favorite guidebook called Science and Health, I found the following comforting passage, "Wait patiently for divine Love to move upon the waters of mortal mind, and form the perfect concept. Patience must "have her perfect work.""

Patience. Yes. I pray about if everyday. I am a person who wants things now. Success...abundance...you name it...I don't have the patience. Like Veruca from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,"...."I want an Ompa-Lompa now daddy!"

I know that Spirit has always taken care of me...so why would that change now? I know I need to do a better job of letting go of all the "human thought" that tries to distract me with fear and worry...and trust Love. Let go of my agenda...and trust that God is providing and supplying all of my needs...i.e. looking at things with "Spirit thought."

Each night, when my head hits the pillow...I think about all of the thoughts in my head, and if there is any doubt, fear, or worry...I identify them and let them go to God. I get myself out of the way by trusting that God's love is greater than any solution I could come up with.

After that...I then...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Sleeping like a guilty man :)

Travis