Direct Life Coaching

I had a couple of discussions with friends this week - and in each
one the idea of "two steps forward - one step back" came up. We know
the expression, and I am pretty sure we all feel we've danced this
one-two step at one time or another.

It can be very frustrating. Just when you feel you're making progress
- it seems like something comes along that tries to knock you down a
couple of rungs. Maybe it's progress in a relationship, maybe a
personal goal you have set for yourself, or even getting your
financial situation more stabalized. Just when you feel you're
getting on top of the hill - you get there to realize there is an
even bigger hill in the distance.

So what do you do?

Two steps forward - one step back.

What really is the "one step back" we refer to though? I think we all
agree it's a setback - but a setback to what? Progress?

No!

That is what I came to realize this week. We (my improv group) were supposed to have
our monthly improv show recently, but the day before the show our theater was shut down. Now, this really stunk (my language was a little harsher at the time). I mean, we had a string of really good shows - and by all accounts - not only was this show going to be sold-out, but we actually would of been turning people
away at the door. All of this momentum was building, then just like
that - we had to pull the plug.

One step back...right?

No!

You see - that's the thing. It felt like it was one step back because
we were all disappointed over having the show canceled. Of course
that is disheartening - but were we really taking one step back? The
perceived setback on our end was that we could not perform, would
lose momentum, lose money, and lose the joy of just performing. All
true. Yet, if we look at the big picture - and what happened as a
result - I am not sure you can call it a setback.

Two days later the guys and I met to discuss our "next steps." We
were all visibly discouraged, and the meeting ended up being a chance
for us to voice our frustrations. And, the more we spoke, the more we
realized that we really needed to better define the direction of our
group. The reality was that we weren't really taking two steps
forward at all - but for the last few months we had only been side-
stepping. Not moving up, or back, but just sort of side-stepping and
staying in one place. Sold-out shows were nice, but it wasn't getting
us to the goals we felt inside. We needed to define those goals
together and figure out how we were going to get there.

So, we set some goals for the group - and are taking some immediate
steps to make sure those goals can be reached once the theater is back open.

One step back?

Not all at.

The only setback that occured was a bump in the road we hadn't
anticipated. What we received was an unexpected outcome, but isn't
that life? Do we really always gets what we expect? As a result, that
bump forced us to reflect and take a deeper look at where we were
going. By being forced to do so - we realized that there were changes
that needed to be made - changes that would actually help us reach
our goals faster.

Is that really a step back?

Mary Baker Eddy has a quote that I turn to every time I am tempted to
accept a setback, she says in Science and Health, "In Christian Science there is never a retrograde step, never a return to positions outgrown."

It's true, isn't it? No only are these "one step back" moments not
setbacks - they actually push us further along than we would have
achieved had they not happened. That is huge! It is the setbacks that
force growth - not the other way around. For anyone who has ever done
a push-up, run against the wind, or lifted weights - you all know
that growth and progress does not occur without the resistance. It is
how we choose to respond to the resistance that determines our progress.

When Tiger Woods won his second Master's he made a radical decision.
He was on top of the golf world, the most dominant golfer - but he
knew he could be better. He saw the faults in his swing - and he
realized he could not achieve his goals without restructuring his
entire swing. Experts thought he was nuts, and for about a year and
half it looked like they were right. Tiger never swayed from this
belief that although it appeared he had taken "one step back," he was
actually progressing more than he could of by not changing his swing.
Well, the rest has been history - and he continues to rewrite the
record books.

Two steps forward - one giant leap forward!

Isn't that the reality? Do I really believe that God, ever-present Love, is not providing me with everything I need at every moment? If that is the case, I cannot see setbacks as retrograde steps - but rather another opportunity for growth.

So, that resistance you are feeling right now - what are you learning from it? ;)

If you would like some life-coaching encouragement to assist you with the resistance - you know how to find me :)

Much love!

Travis
561.676.4583
travislthomas@mac.com

PS - Months ago I told you that all of my 2006 blogs were elegantly compiled into a book. Well, now you can purchase it! Just click on the button below. You can purchase the book as a download - or in print form - you can even buy both ;)

A friend of mine recently sent me a link to a "casting call" for a
new opportunity that she thought I would be perfect for. I looked up
the information, and sure enough, it was an awesome looking opportunity.

But, I had a lot of work on my plate, and in addition to filling out
an 11 page written application, I had to video myself and have the
entire packet sent out that day. Great idea - but the timing wasn't
right.

So, I went back to work.

It kept nagging at me though. "Okay Travis, you really aren't even
going to try?"

Why should I? It's a crap shoot...a lottery...nothing will come of it.

"How do you know? What is the worst that will happen, you lose a few
hours of work? Big deal!"

I don't know, why would they pick me?

"Why wouldn't they pick you?"

Ahhh...good question conscience! (By the way, that entire dialogue
was inside my head...not out loud. I know some of you were concerned)

So, I pulled the e-mail out of the trash, printed out the
application, filled out the entire behemoth of an application, shot
and edited a video of myself, and then over-nighted the packet to Los
Angeles?

What happened? Are you curious? Did I get it?

Well...no.

(So much for Hollywood endings)

I did get a call-back though. So, out of the thousand of people that
interviewed for the first round, I made it to the final 100 or so.
Not bad.

What is the point then?

Look at it this way. You will not get 100% of the things you never
try for! Guaranteed!

Yup, if you never try - you never taste the pie! (Just made that up -
not sure if it works or not)

For someone who was pretty tentative as a kid (and still am in
different ways), I have challenged myself to take risks and "get out
there" in recent years.

So, where is "out there?"

Out there is where you go to achieve your purpose, dreams, and passion.

Referring back to a previous blog, I talked about how our purpose is
already within us - we just need to utilize those resources that are
already available to us. So, this idea is consistent with that. If we
look inside ourselves and articulate our passions and purpose in life
- we then need to think about the steps that need to be taken to put
our purpose in action.

To use a lame example, if my passion and purpose in life were to be a
lifeguard. It might behoove me to learn how to swim. And, if I do
know how to swim - I might want to seek out opportunities where my
skills can be used.

Simple enough.

But, taking that next step when it comes to our purpose often feels a
lot scarier. That is probably why it feels so "out there."

It feels foreign, scary, and intimidating. And, many times, those
feelings alone prevent us from moving forward.

About 8-9 years ago when my wife and I were in Boston, I decided that
I was going to take an improvisation class. I had never done it
before, but it always looked fun. So, a bit nervous, I jumped in and
signed-up for the class. I loved it! It became my favorite night of
the week, and as a result I ended up going through the entire six-
level training center.

I could of stopped there.

The theater was having auditions for a touring company cast, and
although I was still very new - what did I have to lose except a
little self-confidence?

Again, this audition felt very "out there" and scary. But, I had a
great time and ended up making it into the cast. Not only was this a
great accomplishment, it has proved to become one of my true passions
in life. I now co-own my own group - and even still - we are always
trying to put ourselves "out there."

As mentioned before though, there are plenty of obstacles that
prevent us from going "out there." Some of this resistance shows up
in the form of fear, doubt, lack of time, lack of confidence,
financial limitations, and intimidation.

I still struggle with these. What I have tried to do in recent years
though is evaluate the motives that prevent me from do something. If
they are wrapped or hidden in any of the qualities above - well then
I know I need to crack that cookie so that I can move forward.

What we don't want to leave out here is that we are talking about our
passion and purpose. There is nothing more important! It is your
reason for being. It is living your life with the most meaning and
highest sense of right. It is your essence. The one unique quality
only you can do - and no one can do it like you!!

I found so many ideas from Science and Health that are helpful in this regard, but here is just one, "Advancing spiritual steps in the teeming universe of Mind lead on to spiritual spheres and exalted beings."

I don't know about you - but I want to be an exalted being! This is what you are supposed to be doing - and nothing can prevent
you from doing it. As an expression of God, Spirit, Love - this is
what you are meant to do.

Trust me, I come face to face with these feelings everyday, and it
can be REAL scary. But there is no greater feeling than getting "out
there" - and you know the feeling when you've been there...even if
you don't get the part ;)

Lastly, I just want to plug a friend of mine (Traci Fenton) who is definitely "out
there" - and she is doing quite well! Her company is making a global
ripple, and if you want to read more about her recent work - check
out this article!

Much love!

Travis

PS - If you are getting hung-up and feeling like getting "out there"
is too scary - drop me a line or give me a call!

561.676.4583
travislthomas@mac.com

"The economy is too tight."

"I don't have the skills to get that kind of job."

"It's just an illness I've learned to live with."

"He'll never change, so I've stopped caring."

"The world is so screwed up, there is nothing I can do."

Okay, these quotes aren't exactly coming from my personal consciousness, but I can't tell you I haven't had similar thoughts from time to time. We all do. Depending on where you live in the world, there is a good chance these are the kinds of thoughts you have grown up around, either in your family or your society at large.

Are they true?

Are ANY of them true?

Well, whether you believe them to be true or not - I guess that is really all the matters...right?

Do I believe them to be true? No! But, it can take a lot of conscious effort to stand my ground.

The truth is - all of these ideas (and similar ideas) slowly become a natural part of our belief system. It is was we are taught in schools. It's what we hear on the news. It's part of a world where the generally believed thought is that there is good and bad, have's and have not's, abundance and poverty, sickness and health.

To me, it means that you're living on cruise control.

Living on cruise control means that we have stopped questioning our generally accepted beliefs that make us who we are, as well as the beliefs that make up the kind of world we live in. When we are on cruise control, we begin to let other people's thoughts and views shape who we are. We allow them to label our intelligence and abilities. We let them tell us how much we can achieve, and we allow them to paint the picture of how we view the world.

If you were an artist, would you let someone else paint your masterpiece?

Well, when we are on cruise control - that is exactly what we are doing.

Over time, even the subtlest labels or opinions can take root and shape thoughts. Kids today are taking standardized tests in 1st grade, even being tested younger, and then given an intelligence label that they will carry for the rest of their lives. Is this fair? Do I even remember the 1st grade?

The older you get - the more labels you receive - as if you're collecting badges for the boy scouts. "Okay Travis, you have earned your ADHD badge, it's not that big of a deal, it just means that you now must believe for the rest of your life that you cannot sit still and focus on one activity for any period of time. Now, go start a fire."

Sarcasm aside, how many of us are still carrying around a self-image that we didn't create?

So, isn't it time you clicked off cruise and put your hands back on the wheel? Shouldn't you be in charge of you? Other opinions and ideas are nice, but it's your masterpiece you are painting - so don’t use someone else's brush.

Now, you may be reading this and questioning whether or not you are accepting labels about yourself given to you by others. If so, take some time and write down things about yourself that you may not like, including qualities, labels, habits, emotions, etc. that you feel represent you. What does your list look like?

Do you like your list? If not - what would you ideal list look like?

This is not a goal - this is a starting point. This is who you are right now...RIGHT NOW! . When you are in control, when you are fully present in the moment - past labels are powerless. They are an eternity ago. If you don't want to be impatient anymore, well be patient right now! If you don't want to be bitter anymore - be grateful right now! If you don't want to be ill anymore - be healthy right now!

Mary Baker Eddy, in her preface in Science and Health announced it was time to get off cruise control when she wrote, "The time for thinkers has come. Truth, independent of doctrines and time-honored systems, knocks at the portal of humanity. Contentment with the past and the cold conventionality of materialism are crumbling away. Ignorance of God is no longer the steppingstone to faith."

Get off cruise control and take conscious responsibility for the world you are creating RIGHT NOW!

If you're still on cruise control - where the heck are you cruising too? All the fun is in the journey, not the destination!

If you want some help getting your hands back on the wheel, give me a call or drop me an e-mail!

Much love!

Travis
travislthomas@mac.com
561.676.4583

P.S. - If you haven't heard the big announcement already - check out this video!

Although I live in Florida, I am not a surfer. Seeing "Jaws" as a
child still haunts me to the day, but I still love the ocean. In
fact, my wardrobe mainly consists of shorts, t-shirts, and flip-
flops...which is a bit of a change from my Boston garb ;) Some people
are cold weather people, I am not. I love the warm weather, the
beach, and the smell of salt water. Had Kramer ever gotten his
"Beach" cologne produced, I would of bought it (Seinfeld anyone?).

Last week during my vision day I spent some time at an area known as
"kite beach." This is a popular local hang-out for kite-surfers. Kite-
surfing is a newer water sport where you strap your feet into a
surfboard with foot straps and then hold on to a giant kite (more of
a parachute) that propels you across the water. On certain days you
can see as many as 30 multi-colored kites dancing through the sky
pulling their surfers below. The principle behind it is similar to
windsurfing, but the height of the kite gives the rider much more
power to harness - allowing them to soar as high as 40-50 feet in the
air depending on the elements.

So, I am thinking - here we are in 2007, yet there is still another
water sport just being discovered. There are no engines, no machines
needed for this hobby - just a sense of creativity, ingenuity, and
skill brought together to harness a resource that has always been there.

So why is this spiritual?

Think about it. Was the wind there before the kite-surfer? Were the
waves there before the surfer? Was the law of gravity there before
the first person tripped and fell down?

(Hopefully we answered "yes" to all the above)

As I was watching the kite-surfers flying across the water, it dawned
on me that the wind is a lot like our personal purpose in life. It's
always there - whether we use it or not.

In Science and Health, Mary Baker Eddy oddly enough gives her own spiritual definition for wind:

WIND. That which indicates the might of omnipotence and the movements of God's spiritual government, encompassing all things.

She also clarifies that the Greek word for wind is "pneuma," which also means spirit.

Yet, when it comes to connecting to the "wind" we already possess, we spend a lot of time looking for it [purpose] "out there" -
thinking it is a treasure we need to seek out and find. Or, we sit
around and wait for someone to tell us our purpose. I feel both ways
at times - but the wind showed me otherwise.

I think a lot of people still confuse their "purpose" with their
career. By doing this we get caught in the trap of believing we
cannot live our purpose unless we get a certain job, which also means
there is a process we need to go through before we can obtain that
career. We need to get certain grades, obtain certain degrees, and
hope our ability is recognized so that we can receive promotions,
etc. that will move us up the ladder. With this thinking - our
purpose is delayed until a later date, a later date somewhere "out
there."

Our purpose is not our career - but our career could/should be an
expression of our purpose. To better understand our purpose and to
have it become more clearer in our lives - we need to look inward,
not outward. We need to be able to articulate what things in our life
make us most happy and brings us the most satisfaction and
fulfillment. Once we can do that, we can now use those things as a
measuring stick to help us get on a track that brings them into our
lives even more.

The problem is, we begin to let fear, doubt, and "reality" tell us
that we cannot have those things because "we aren't smart enough,"
"there is no money in that work," or "I'll eventually get to that
when I retire."

Odds are, if this is your thinking, you'll never be smart enough, you
won't be able to see money in that line of work, and by the time you
retire - will you even remember what you were passionate about?

The wind...your purpose...is here right now. You are surrounded by
it. It is not outside of you, and it is not something you need "to
get." You already have it - so isn't it time you use it? It might
take form in one career right now, and then transform into another
career 6 weeks, months, or years from now. But, when you harness the
power of your purpose - you will always feel happiness, joy, and
fulfillment no matter where you are or what you are doing.

What is your wind? How have you harnessed it?

Remember, if you are keeping all of your wind bottled up - it's just
turning into hot air...and who wants to be full of that? ;)

I look forward to hearing from some of you and sharing what your
purpose looks like (post it in the comments). If you need a little
help - I'm just an e-mail or phone call away.

Much love!

Travis
travisthomas@mac.com
561.676.4583