Direct Life Coaching

I just finished reading Gordon MacKenzie's humorous and thought-stretching book "Orbiting the Giant Hairball: A Corporate Fool's Guide to Surviving with Grace." Gordon is a free-spirit who worked for the Hallmark Corporation for over 30 years - and his book is a collection of anecdotal stories and advice of what it took to survive the corporate culture.

The "Giant Hairball" Gordon refers to is the suffocating and paralyzing corporate environment that exists in most older successful businesses (not to say they aren't there in young corps too). What starts off as a recipe for success - slowly evolves into a traditional and inflexible structure that crushes newness and creativity in response to protecting the status quo. Individuality and innovation are swallowed whole by the massive bureaucratic "hairball" the grows stronger and stronger as time goes on.

So, how do you survive the hairball?

Do you jump in feet first and try to defeat the hairball from the inside out? Or, do you stay as far away from the hairball as possible never taking the chance of getting sucked in?

Actually, neither.

The solution Gordan figured out for 30 years was to orbit the hairball. He was a part of the Hallmark team, their policies and culture - yet he never sacrificed his unique and individual identity that made him who he was. He never lost touch with his own passions, goals, and principles - even if it meant going against the status quo.

To Gordon, this is what it means to "orbit the giant hairball."

I began to think - what else could be hairballs?

What are your hairballs? Yeah, I wrote "hairballs," not "hairball," because let's be honest - we all have more than one.

Is it the corporate culture you currently work in? Is it the relationship you have with family members? Is it the view you have of politics or the world? More importantly, is your own hairball the view you have of yourself?

Let's say a friend comes to you and dumps a problem on you he/she is having with a mutual friend. Your friend is emotionally charged, and it is obvious they are looking for your reassurance in supporting their feelings.

What do you?

Well, if you agree with them and allow their emotional perspective to suck you into the hairball - you now become a helpless part of the problem. Because, when you are in the hairball - it is impossible to respond rationally and responsibly.

Or, do you turn your back on your friend and ignore their situation? If so, you are avoiding their plight by turning the other way as if it never happened, and at the same time, leaving your friend feeling ignored and slighted.

What do you do?

You orbit the hairball!

In order to orbit the hairball, you need to detach your own ego and accept that "your" own opinions really don't matter. As soon as you think they do - you are sucked into the hairball. But, if you can listen with supportive, non-judgemental, compassionate ears - you are able to get your own agenda out of the way in order to see an unbiased perspective. The result is that you have all the information on how the hairball operates - but you are removed to a safe distance where you can stay clear and composed.

"He couldn't see the forest from the trees."

Kind of brings that expression into focus a little bit. Hairball!

Or, how about, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." - Romans

Wow, kind of brings that one into clearer light as well. Hairball!

The truth is, any hairball can be scary, messy, and seemingly impossible when you're in it, but when you become an observer, instead of a participant - it loses its power. It is a spiritual lesson I have known for awhile, yet continue to work on everyday.

Raising your thought (by removing it from the muck) pulls us out of the hairball where we can clearly see where the real problems lay - and then choose the correct (and opinionless) action. Or, as Mary Baker Eddy eloquently wrote, "Progress takes off human shackles. The finite must yield to the infinite. Advancing to a higher plane of action, thought rises from the material sense to the spiritual, from the scholastic to the inspirational, and from the mortal to the immortal."

That is where I want to be :)

I would challenge all of you right now to take a look at the hairball you have you created for yourself based on passed experiences and perceptions. Does failing math in 10th grade still make you stupid? Does treating a boyfriend poorly 3 years ago still make you uncaring? Does remembering how your parents treated you as a child still make you unworthy of love?

I don't know what your hairball is for yourself - but we all have them. And, as long as we accept that as truth and operate within them - they will always hold us back.

In my mental house right now hairballs are being yakked up continually (thank God this is metaphorical). Like a hairball, the result can look messy, but it feels a whole lot better to have the hairball on the outside.

As a life-coach, it is my job to support you in coughing up your own suffocating hairballs - so give me a call.

Much love (meow),

Travis
561.676.4583
travislthomas@mac.com

PS - My friend Traci Fenton from WorldBlu has done it again! She continues orbiting the largest of hairballs - and her work has once again been recognized - this time by the Wall Street Journal! Check it out!

Labels: christian science, coaching, life coaching, mary baker eddy, spirituality, travis thomas, WorldBlu

By now everyone is familiar with the recent tragedy on the campus of Virginia Tech.

Response to the news differs. Maybe it kicked you in the gut. Sadness. Frustration. Anger. Prayer. For others, you may be so used to horrifying news and events that you have become desensitized when something like this happens.

Whatever your response, you can't help but feel helpless. I did. Seeing the news for the first time made me feel small and insignificant. What am I doing? How am I helping? How do I respond?

So, how do you respond? How do you move forward? What do you do?

The more I have thought about this today the more I realize there is plenty that you and I can do.

It's not about what you do or where you live - it's about WHO you are - and HOW you are showing up in life.

Maybe that sounds vague, so let me explain.

We are all capable of big things! No matter who you are - you have an immediate impact on the people around you and the community you live in. Every choice that you make and every action you take has influence on EVERYONE.

EVERYONE!

That might feel far-fetched, but it's not. We get so caught up in looking at life based on the results we can see - but never stop to contemplate the influence we have on the unseen. Everyday, you influence everyone you come into contact with, as well as many you never meet. When you CHOOSE to live your life to your highest potential - you raise humanity!

Yes - you raise humanity by the choices you make!

When you live life at your highest potential, you bring out the best in yourself as well as everyone around you. You become an example of greatness, compassion, grace, and peace - and become a force of positive energy into the world. Your one single action raises humanity.

I went to Science and Health for comfort and inspiration, and I found this passage hat supports from Mary Baker Eddy, "The good in human affections must have ascendency over the evil and the spiritual over the animal, or happiness will never be won. The attainment of this celestial condition would improve our progeny, diminish crime, and give higher aims to ambition."

Now, contemplate a life where you are showing up in your fullest in everything that you do - with "higher aims to ambition." You become a constant expression of goodness and positivity. Your energy inspires others into action - and now your goodness is multiplied and reciprocated further into the world. The ripple effect of goodness is set in motion - and it never stops - it just continues to grow! Your kids see a better you - your spouse sees a better you - your friends see a better you - strangers see a better you - and you being a better you makes everyone else better.

It's your choice. What are you going to do?

There are no insignificant moments. How you treat the cashier at the grocery store has influence. The way you respond in your car has influence. How you talk to the people in your life has influence. You are a living, moving, breathing expression of influence!

Don't bury your head. Don't get lost in the day to day grind of life that you forget that although we walk around as individuals - we are all connected.

How are you doing? Can you be bigger? Can you do more? Can you strive to be a better you?

Yes you can! Is there an alternative? And if you are not striving to show up better in your life, what else are you doing?

Don't get stuck in the muck! Don't be paralyzed by the images of violence and senselessness. You can do something - and you can start right now!

There are no insignificant moments. Click here for a quick example of how striving to be better influences more than you could ever expect.

I know like many of you, my prayers continue to go out to everyone at Virginia Tech - and I expect that comfort is being felt. Go higher! Be better! The demand is on all of us to make a difference!

Much love!

Travis
561.676.4583
travislthomas@mac.com

Labels: christian science, inspiration, spirituality, Virginia Tech

If you hear a story long enough told in the same way, you just start to generally assume it's true. After awhile, as more and more people go along with the general belief, less people question the story, and it becomes accepted as a fact.

Those who do question are often called rebel rousers, trouble makers, or just flat out crazy.

Are you crazy?

I hope so! It is these same "trouble makers" that enact change. It is these same mavericks that look at "the way it has always been," and question whether or not that is the way it still should be.

Put plainly, true leaders question the status quo. They look at the ordinary and discover the extraordinary. They look at the same story that has been told for years, and they ask, "Is that really the whole story?"

Are you questioning the ordinary?

Many of us feel stuck in our own lives due to our circumstances. Maybe it's your finances, job, health, or relationships, but the more time goes on - we just start to accept that the way things are can't change.

Are you seeing the whole story? Are you questioning your current situation?

Maybe you just need to make a shift. Maybe you need to look at your life from a different perspective.

Same story - but a different perspective.

Recently my wife talked me into going to see the musical "Wicked." If you don't know about the story, it focuses on Glinda the Good Witch and Elphaba, also known as the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz. The story follows the two witches in their younger years and you learn why they end up being the way they are.

What I love about Wicked is that it takes one of the most classic stories of all time - "The Wizard of Oz," and it totally shifts your perspective. They don't change any of the facts - but they provide you with background and context you never knew before. The end result - things aren't always what they seem.

I don't want to give away any of the details - but the story blew me away. It is brilliant. I can't wait to see it again.

As I thought more and more about the story - I started to think about "stories" in my own life I have always accepted as fact. Is it possible I just need to change my perspective, get more information, and take a different view?

If I want to be extraordinary (I really do) - I can't really settle for ordinary (sometimes I feel I do).

So now, whenever I come up against something in my life, either about me, or someone else - I am challenging my perspective and asking questions? "Is that the whole story?" "Is it possible there is a better way?" "Do I really know all the facts?"

Lastly, there is also a song from Wicked that has been an energizer for me recently. Now, I must say, I never thought a song from a musical would become my theme song, but it has. This from a guy who recently picked Run DMC's "King of Rock" as my entrance song for our improv show.

Anyway, the end of the first act of Wicked ends with Elphaba (Wicked Witch of West) finally realizing that she needs to be her own person, instead of being held back by what other people think about her. The song is rousing and it gives me the chills. Combined with the singing and a series of notes few people can reach, the lyrics are inspiring and moving. The song is called, "Defying Gravity."

Here is an excerpt of some of the lyrics:

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

I'm through accepting limits
'Cuz someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down:

So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!


--------------------------------------

Don't we all want to defy gravity in our own way?

The question is, what are you doing to challenge the stories and paradigms you've accepted as truth?

Maybe it's time to look at those paradigms from a different perspective. The Law of Attraction has recently turned on millions to the power our thoughts have on our reality. In "The Power of Intention," Wayne Dyer outlines what it means to be more intentional in creating the life we want to live. For over 130 years, Mary Baker Eddy's Science and Health has provided spiritual law for challenging false paradigms - and giving all of us the ability to defy gravity. She writes, "Life is eternal. We should find this out, and begin the demonstration thereof. Life and goodness are immortal. Let us then shape our views of existence into loveliness, freshness, and continuity, rather than into age and blight."

How are you "shaping your view of existence?" I would love to hear your stories!

Much love!

Travis
travislthomas@mac.com
561.676.4583

Remember, feel free to contact me for a free one-on-one consultation if you need help defying gravity ;) I can't wait to hear from you!

Labels: christian science, mary baker eddy, spirituality, The Secret, Wicked

I have been out of my routine this week.

I usually blog on Tuesday before teaching acting class, but since this is Spring Break in Palm Beach, my normal writing time was on hiatus. Even on my runs this week I haven't had that one idea come to me that I want to blog about. There are some random thoughts that keep jumping around in my head, but nothing has surfaced as "the idea" to write about this week. In fact, I was even one paragraph into a blog and I scrapped it - it was getting too jumbled and I had just started, so maybe I will save that thought for another day.

Here I am...Wednesday late night...and as my patient (and pregnant) wife sleeps beside me - I write this trying not to keep her up because of the laptop monitor glow (she's a real sensitive sleeper). So, since there is no cohesive blog to dazzle your intellect, here are some thoughts skipping around in my consciousness...enjoy!

* Do you think Ty Pennington (ABC's Extreme Makeover host) knew that he was going to be a mega-superstar by pursuing his dream as a carpenter? Is it possible that he became a carpenter because he loved it - and what happened as a result is due to the fact that he followed his purpose and passions - without outlining or trying to control the results? And, if Ty never made it as a TV star because of his carpentry - would he still be happy? I think I know the answer ;)

* The Florida Gators basketball team repeated as National Champions this week. They had the exact 5 starters that they had when they won it all last year. When they won their first title last year, many were surprised when a few of their stars decided to forgo the NBA draft to stay in college for another year. I mean really - who could pass up guaranteed millions just to stay in college and not make a dime, all the while risking an injury? Even with the win, experts predict that some of their draft-status may have even dropped by staying an extra year. So my questions is - do you think they are happy they stayed? I think I know the answer ;)

* In a letter to his employees this past November, Whole Foods Market CEO John Mackey notified them that he would no longer be taking a salary as their CEO, stating that, "I am now 53 years old and I have reached a place in my life where I no longer want to work for money, but simply for the joy of the work itself and to better answer the call to service that I feel so clearly in my own heart." It is my opinion that John has always been working from his heart - and that success was the result of that vision and passion. He is a pioneer in his industry - and might that be more important that his millions? I think I know the answer ;)

Besides, just look at their motto, "Whole Foods, Whole People, Whole Planet."

What would happen if you followed your heart? What could you do if you steered your life in the direction to do the things that bring you the most joy and fulfillment?

"Yeah Travis, but my passion is my hobby, I could never create a career out of it."

Maybe not - but do you really believe that, or are you just afraid of committing to the one thing you love most? Don't worry - you're not alone.

Rachel Ray was teaching a cooking class in a supermarket before she was discovered. Ty got snatched up for a little show called "Trading Spaces." Will Farrell was a bank teller who decided to get into improv, and Oprah was told she wasn't attractive enough to be an anchor - I guess they were right ;) Now, don't think this blog is about "how to become a star," but these people are merely examples of how following your passions can take you to some awesome heights.

But, don't get it bassackwords! These are people who enjoyed what they were doing before they became stars, in fact, becoming a star wasn't even on their "to do" list. But, strange things happen when you follow your heart.

Unfortunately, more and more people have "made a good living," yet they don't really like what they have. They're the ones who have it bassackwords. It's okay, but it just takes a little effort to go from "a good living" to "living the good life."

Let me leave you with a quote that captures what we are all capable of, from my favorite writer Mary Baker Eddy. She writes, "Each individual must fill his own niche in time and eternity."

Are you fulfilling your niche?

What do you know...maybe this blog has a point after all? Maybe not. Tough, that's all you get this week!

Much love!

Travis
561.676.4583
travislthomas@mac.com

P.S. - Thanks to everyone who purchased a book last week - keep 'em coming! You can use this link to buy a copy for yourself or a friend. Plus, if you want to know more about coaching - or know someone who might want to know more - please be in touch with me. The first chat is always free :)

Labels: christian science, humor, inspiration, life coaching, purpose, self-help, spirituality, travis thomas