Direct Life Coaching

Have you ever played in the waves in the ocean?

You know, it gets a little rough - you're not paying attention, and before you know it you've been blind-sided by a wave - and now you can't tell which way is up. Now, you're sucking in sand and salt water - but the bottom line is...

YOU NEED OXYGEN!!!

We've all been there! Just when you think you can't make it another moment - you break the surface - take in a giant gasp of air - and your world comes rushing back into balance.

SAVED! Whew - that was a close one.

Recently I've been trying to think about my life in these same terms. Mainly, from what in life do I receive my oxygen for living?

For me, my list is pretty short and sweet - it includes:

* My wife and kids
* My family and friends
* A creative outlet (most often improvisation)
* My spiritual journey
* Helping humanity (what is my legacy?)

These are my oxygen! (Or is it, "This is my oxygen?" You get the point!)

When I have gone through stretches of discontent, unfulfillment, or straight out boredom - I can look back and notice that I wasn't getting my oxygen.

And what does that feel like?

Well, it feels like being tossed under a wave sucking in sand and salt water. It's uneasy, uncomfortable, scary, and often helpless.

Well, I guess it should be!

We're talking about our oxygen here - yet how many of us allow ourselves to get so distracted with tasks and activities that ultimately only serve to keep us from our oxygen?

I know I sometimes do.

Could that e-mail wait - or might it feel better to spend some quality time playing with your kid? Which is your oxygen?

Do you really need to clean out that closet right now - or might you spend some time on that next chapter of your book? Which is your oxygen?

Is your favorite TV show really that important - or is there a friend you've been meaning to connect with? Which is your oxygen?

When it's all said and done - and your head hits the pillow at the end of the night - how are you breathing?

Do you go to sleep thinking about everything you wish you could of done that day - or worrying about things you need to do tomorrow - OR - do you just fall asleep satisfied with another day of living oxygen filled?

Ask yourself this: What are your daily oxygen activities? AND... What gets in the way of these activities being fulfilled?

Once we have identified the priorities and the obstacles - the rest is like shooting fish in a barrel (although I do not advocate guns - but fish is delicious!)

Remember, if you need a little help catching your breath - give me a call - the first one is free :)

Much love!

Travis

Labels: direct life coaching, goals, life coaching, oxygen, purpose, travis thomas

I have been thinking a lot about my blog from last week - yet noticing I was still going into situations where I was letting past experiences and prior judgments cloud my perception of how I was "seeing" people.

Case in point...

We were holding auditions for our improv group this past week. Just a little background, we have had a difficult time finding performers in South Florida that are a good fit for what we do (i.e. talented). Over time, with bad audition after bad audition - I wasn't expecting much of anything special this time.

As I was driving around on Thursday afternoon, just hours before the audition, I finally caught myself thinking these negative thoughts. Not to be overly dramatic, but I was ashamed. Here I am, thinking all of these positive thoughts for myself and others (even blogging about it) - yet in my next thought I am expecting a poor audition. I was expecting that it would be amusing - but not in a good way.

Whoops!

So I had an immediate switch in thought (To be exact, it was at the intersection of PGA Blvd. and Military Trail).
I recognized that my perception of the ability of performers in the area was directly effected by past experiences. As a result, I wasn't expecting my fellow man to show up as capable or talented - let alone anyone I would be interested in working with.

Wow - I sound like a jerk.

Instead, I drove in my car and just embraced the audition in my thoughts. I knew that we were having the audition for the right reason - and I knew that no matter who showed up - they would be blessed with an infinite amount of creativity and potential. I vowed to go into the audition expecting genius from my fellow man...

...And that is exactly what showed up!

7 people showed up for the audition - and I would honestly love the opportunity to work and perform with each and everyone one of them. Well, for practical purposes - we won't be able to use all of them - but for the first time we are in a tough position of deciding who not to invite back. It's a good problem to have.

Talk about a role reversal.

Sometimes in the process of how I spiritually view mankind - I forget I actually have to apply it to real life situations ;) Besides, I see each and every person as equally blessed and surrounded in abundance - not just a select few.

I know that this practice can be a constant struggle - seeing past old thoughts and ideas. So, don't think I am saying I got it all figured out - in one week...I will be spending two weeks with 20 of my closest relatives.

I need all the practice I can get ;)

Much love!

Travis

Labels: improv, life coaching, perception

Have you ever gone into a meeting with people you just knew were going to be hard to work with - and they were. See, you were right!

Have you ever gone home for a family holiday assuming everyone was going to treat you the way they did when you were a kid - and they did. See, you were right!

Have you ever gotten your car worked on and you just knew they were going to sock it to you - and they did. Man, right again!

Have you ever thought really poorly about someone - and then were pleasantly surprised when they completely overachieved your expectations?

Hmmm...probably not too much?

Why is that?

Is it possible...that what we actually "see" in people is exactly what they give us back?

You expect your boss to be inflexible - so he is!
You expect your spouse to be impatient - so she is!
You expect the teens in your neighborhood to be "up to no good" - and they are!

So my question is - what are you choosing to see in your fellow man?

Chances are - that is exactly what you are "seeing" in return.

Have you ever got up in the morning feeling awful - and you start telling yourself how awful you feel - and whenever someone asks how you feel - you say awful. And the more you think about how awful you feel - the more awful you feel - and you are constantly reminding people how awful you feel - yet you can't understand why you feel so awful...

Hmmmm...

Try this! Wherever you are, for the rest of the day go into each interaction whether with someone you know - or a stranger - and "see" that person as a kind, understanding, and helpful person. Expect it. Even before the interaction begins - just expect that person expresses all of those qualities - and feel free to add on more qualities like patience, joy, intelligence (you name it).

Then, at the end of the day - take a look back and think about your interactions. How were they?

For the past few weeks I have been going through my day "seeing" the best in people - long before I even get to them. I am trying this at home - with my work - and every store I go into. Sometimes I have been better than others - but I am much more conscious of how I am "seeing" my fellow man.

I can honestly say - the results are great!

Why shouldn't I be seeing my fellow man this way? I see myself as expressing all of those qualities I listed - so why would I assume they don't express them as well? Isn't that a bit egotistical of me to see myself as superior to my fellow man? Do I not think that there is goodness at the core of people?

Yeah I do.

Growing up I was always spiritually taught to see the perfection in man by "Beholding the perfect man." I can honestly say I have tried to do this to the best of my ability - but after taking a quick quiz a few weeks ago - I realized that I wasn't seeing my fellow man as perfect from the start. Instead, once I saw something I didn't like in someone - I would then "behold the perfect man." To me this is a backward approach. So now - instead of waiting for man to underachieve - and then needing to correct my view of that person - I am starting from the onset with the perfect man - and expecting perfection in return.

This does not mean I am naive, or will allow myself to get walked on - it just means that no matter how people decide to "be" in their life - I am going to start off by "seeing" them as perfect. And if it is anything less than perfection they are expressing, I will still "see" them in a better light - but do the best I can to deal with the current reality.

Hey, I am not sure how you all will respond to this blog - but I am expecting you will like it ;)

Much love!

Travis

Labels: goodness, life coaching, perception