Direct Life Coaching

Have you ever stopped to think about the things you might try if it wasn't for your ego?

They might include:

* Taking a dance class
* Volunteering
* Writing a poem
* Being honest with a friend
* Asking someone out on a date
* Pursuing your dream job
* Trying an art class
* Smiling more
* Give a compliment
* Laughing more
* Learning a new language
* Giving a stranger a hug
* Joining a gym
* Exploring a spiritual practice or faith
* Wearing a bathing suit
* Take up an instrument
* Sing louder
* Criticizing and judging less

Okay - I need to cut the list somewhere - but it could go on and on! Do any of those activities resonate with you?

Odds are, if any of those activities look desirable to you, and you are not pursuing it - it is because your ego has jumped in the way. Yes - the ego! The voice inside your head that sounds just like you - but in reality - is not you at all. Actually, it is the voice inside your head that prevents you from being YOU!

The ego is so clever and deceptive because it shows up in what appears to be our own thoughts - cloaked in fear, doubt, cynicism, and apathy. The ego takes all of those things that would actually make you a better person - and tricks you into thinking, "I would never be good at that," "What a waste of time!" "I'll look like a fool!" "People would think I am silly." "I don't have enough time or money." "I wasn't born with those talents." "I'll try that one day - once I do the important stuff!"

The ego is a purpose killer! If you are able to articulate your life purpose and passion - the ego will be right there standing in your way!

So, what's the answer? DO IT ANYWAY!!!

Fall flat on your face. Look like a fool. Be judged. Realize your poems aren't that good. Spend too much on your trip. Get rejected. Be laughed at. Feel uncomfortable.

Yup - all of those could happen - but with no ego to stand in the way - does it really matter?

BRUISE THAT EGO!

Bruise it good! In the process, you might just find, that as unpleasant as it is to get your ego stepped on - it doesn't even come close to trying and pursuing the things you love.

Is your ego getting in the way of your true happiness?

Mary Baker Eddy writes in Science and Health, "Unselfish ambition, noble life-motives, and purity,-- these constituents of thought, mingling, constitute individually and collectively true happiness, strength, and permanence."

How important is your ego to you?

So, your goal today is to take a chance, get out of your comfort zone, follow an impulse - basically anything that might BRUISE THAT EGO!

Let me know how it goes :)

Much love,

Travis

Labels: christian science, direct life coaching, ego, mary baker eddy, passion, purpose

My wife and I recently flew back from a trip in Michigan with our two young children. Our daughter is five-years old, and our son is a wiggly two-years old. Anyone who has traveled with their own young kids can relate to the not-always relaxing feeling this experience brings.

Well, despite having two wonderful flying children, our youngest son decided to make this flight interesting. He threw things, he screamed, he kicked the seat in front of him, he rolled on the ground, he cried, he taunted his mom, he taunted me - it was one of those flights where I felt other passengers thinking, "Those poor parents!" Or, "Those awful parents!"

At the end of the flight, when we could finally stand (and find some sanity), two young girls (probably 8 & 9) sitting behind my wife and son shared this nugget of helpful feedback, "Boy, your son was really annoying...but at least he is cute."

Kids, they say the darndest things!

My wife and I both bit our tongues, and as unappreciative we were of their comments - they were kind of on to something...

Mainly "...at least he is cute!"

Here were two girls with perspective! Sure, they endured his shenanigans for over 2 hours - and in the end - they found some silver lining to walk away with (thank God he is cute).

Once in our car, we still had a 3 hour drive home (need a new travel agent) - and I had time to reflect on the flight. By all means, it would of been very easy for my wife and I to bemoan what an awful trip we just experienced - but we really didn't. In fact, looking back I was able to express gratitude for the fact that the flight was on time, our seats were together, we got all of our luggage, and that it was over ;)

Seriously though, I was grateful that despite my son's behavior being a nightmare - it was over! Whatever bee got in his bonnet was gone. There was no need for me to keep seeing him that way and reliving the experience - so I freed him from that experience by forgiving him. If he was able to get his normal self back - there was no reason for me to attach any unnecessary negativity. That was baggage neither of us needed.

if you think about this example in a bigger picture - there is a lot of freedom we can give ourselves and others by letting whatever happened go. And not just forgiving, but actually being able to look back at negative experiences and express gratitude for the good that was present as well.

We tend to remember experiences in black and white terms. Something was either good - or bad. But often, there are usually elements of both - but what we choose to remember and focus on becomes the memory we create for ourself.

I challenge all of you - to this week try to find the good in any experience that leaves a negative taste in your mouth. Maybe it's the poor service you get at the store, or a rude co-worker, or an impatient spouse (my wife can relate) - and try to then think back, let go of the negative, and then acknowledge something from the same experience to be grateful for.

If you notice anything interesting - let me know!

Hey - at the very least - if someone ticks you off - they might be cute ;)

Much love!

Travis

Labels: direct life coaching, forgiveness, gratitude, life coaching, personal growth, positive thinking, travis thomas

I just got back from our 15-day trip to Michigan to visit family - and there is something special about sleeping in your own bed (no offense to your hospitality mom).

One of the highlights of the trip was getting to go see my childhood team, the Detroit Tigers, battle against my recent surrogate team, the Boston Red Sox. It is impossible to live in Boston for any period of time (5 years) and not get caught up in Red Sox hysteria - but I am always true to my hometown roots - so Go Tigers!

It was the first time I have seen a game in Detroit's new Comerica Park - and it is a beautiful stadium. Plus, we got to see the Tigers win in extra innings - much to the dismay of my pregnant wife. I guess there is something about being 7 months pregnant that doesn't make sitting in a ballpark seat for 4 hours appealing ;)

And this has what to do with anything???

Watching the game unfold gave me new found respect for the relief pitcher. These guys have a thankless job. They sit on the bench for 3 hours spitting sunflower seeds and messing around - knowing that at anytime they could be called to come into the game in the tighest of spots - and not blow it!

Once they're in the game - there is little room for error. If there team has the lead - keep it that way! If there team is losing - then stop the bleeding! There is no wiggle room, no time to "ease your time into the game," - it's instant feet to the fire!

So, they sit the whole game knowing the phone could ring at any time - and their number might be called...

Are they ready?

The better question is - Are you ready?

We all play this game in the real world. You go through your day-to-day activities knowing that at anytime you might get called on - so are you ready?

Maybe a family member needs you. Maybe it's a last minute project at work. Or maybe it's that unexpected "life-chaning" (good or bad) event that falls in your lap.

Are you prepared to step up to the plate and deliver?

I have found for myself that answering the call is a lot easier when you are making time for your "oxygen" activities (see last blog). When you are consciously taking time each day to focus on the things that mean the most to you - that bring you the most fuifillment and energy - then you are better prepated to handle the curveballs when they come.

Remember, these oxygen activities relate to your personal purpose or essence of living - so when you are making time for them - they in turn nourish you with the inspiration to handle the big stuff!

When you don't make time for them - you give up control of your happiness and become a victim to what other people and the world throw at you. You will say that "there is nothing you can do," but that is just the cop out - because being the victim is so much easier to do.

"Oh poor me!"

Be in action! Be conscious of what makes you feel alive - and move in that direction. One of my favorite authors, Mary Baker Eddy, says it like this, "We look before our feet, and if we are wise, we look beyond a single step in the line of spiritual advancement."

You can call it spiritual advancement, personal growth, living on purpose, whatever - but the result is that you are focusing your thoughts and choices on actions that prepare you for whatever life throws your way.

Are you ready?

BRING IT ON!!

Much love,

Travis