Direct Life Coaching

(Reminder: Leave your e-mail in the "subscribe" box to receive an e-mail every time there is a new blog.)

I apologize to anyone who had the wrong idea based on the title of the blog - there are just some things I probably shouldn't blog about ;)

You can't fake it!

Life. Happiness. What you really want to do.

You can't fake it.

Sure, we have all experienced times when we have talked ourselves into a situation - only to find...uhhh...well...it just didn't work out like we expected. Maybe it was a job that would look good on your resume - or the money could not be turned down. Maybe it was a relationship that looked so good on paper - it only made sense. Regardless of the rational and practical reasons we may have used to talk our way into the decision - did it ultimately bring you the peace you were looking for?

I didn't think so!

Why not? Because...

You can't fake it!

Your feelings. Your emotions. Your true sense of value, happiness, and fulfillment cannot be faked. Sure, you can try to ignore them, suppress them, and even pretend you don't have them - but they are there - THEY ARE ALWAYS THERE!

Here's the thing - you are a person - not machine. No matter what you try to do, and regardless of the advice you are given in your life - it won't mean a thing unless the choices you make are fulfilling your deepest desires.

When your head hits that pillow at night - are you at peace with the choices you are making?

That is my barometer - because that is when the noise is quiet. No one is telling you what you should be doing. No distractions. Just you and your thoughts. Are you at peace?

You can't fake it!

If not, don't sweat it - it just means it is time to listen to those feelings and actually do something about it. Sometimes that means drastic steps, while other times it means making some small tweaks and adjustments that gets you feeling better about where you are going.

In his book "Happier" that I am reading and loving right now, Tal Ben-Shahar has this to say, "Had we found ourselves in a job that did not afford us our material needs, we would do everything in our power to change the predicament. So why do we set lower standards for ourselves when the ultimate currency -- when our own happiness -- is at stake? What we need if we are to implement change in our lives is courage. And courage is not about not having fear but about having fear and going ahead anyway."

Whew - can I relate to that! Courage. Jump - at the net will appear!

I have on a few occasions found myself in work and relationship situations when I have miserably failed the pillow test. No matter how long I tried to "stick it out" - the only true happiness was when I actually got out. The pain of not following my heart was much greater than the pain in sacrifice of doing what "seemed best."

I can't fake it!

And neither can you.

You need you at your best. Your friends and family need you at your best! The world needs you at your best!

Stop faking it!

Much love,

Travis - Direct Life Coaching
Life. Courage. Action!

Labels: direct life coaching, Happier, life coaching, Tal Ben-Shahar, travis thomas

I have been stressing about getting a new blog out - because it has been nearly two weeks since my last post. Now, I have been out of town on back to back weekends, so that has thrown me off schedule some - and I haven't had a problem with Traci's "Blu Who" blog staying featured for two weeks. But alas...here I am.

I have been fighting a little bit of resistance getting to a new blog because no specific inspiration has been bouncing around the old noodle. As you hopefully have noticed...I try to have a theme to each blog - but nothing has been coming to me this week. So, instead of delaying another week - the thought came to me, "Just write..."

Just write, besides, it's a blog - not a thesis paper (I hated those).

So here I am. My wife and I were in Boston last weekend for a friend's wedding. We took our youngest child (6 weeks old) with us, and it sure is funny how perspective changes. Man, only traveling with a newborn - one child...heck, this was a vacation for us. We got to see friends we hadn't seen in awhile, as well as visiting some of our old haunts.

Taking a trip always forces me to do some extra planning. I have been a part of a fitness challenge for just over a year now. A friend runs it from Amsterdam, and everyone puts in a few dollars - and the last one left gets the money and gives it to a charity of their choice. Each week you have to do a certain amount of push-ups and sit-ups everyday, as well as a number of cardio work-outs each week. The longer you stay in - the more increases you get. I think there are like 5-7 of us left at this point - and I think about 75 were in from the beginning.

So, the push-ups and sit-ups are no problem, I can do that anywhere. But, being on the road can be hard getting a run in - so I always plan ahead and try to get the cardio done before I take the trip. So far - so good!!!

In addition to the fitness challenge - you may have remembered that I also do a certain number of "commitments" each day. All-in-all, they range from prayer to reading, and other activities - and equal about 60-80 minutes of time each day. So, these also become a challenge when I am traveling.

But - they get done. Everyday - no matter what.

In thinking of my past two weeks - I am most happy that I have stayed on top of my commitments. They have become such an important part of my day and life - and I continue to grow each day from what they teach me - but more importantly - I am growing from the dedication of doing them, and what I often have to overcome in order to get them done each day. That is where the real effort and commitment takes place.

Over the last couple of weeks I have also been reading two really interesting books. "The World is Flat" by Thomas Friedman, and "Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment" by Tal Ben-Shahar. The World is Flat looks at how technology and the internet has "flattened" the global playing field for how we work, collaborate, and live. Reading this book reminds me of one of Mary Baker Eddy's quotes, "The time for thinkers has come..." Mainly, the walls of business and how we do things are changing right in front of our eyes, and it is going to take intelligent, creative, and courageous individuals to evolve to the next era. I hope I am one of them.

For the "Happier" book, I am really just starting, but I like where he is going. He brings up the fact that people in western society are wealthier now than they ever have been, yet the level of happiness is on a declining scale. Why?

That's one of the main reasons I like life coaching - to help people answer that very question.

If you need some help yourself - give me a call!

Much love!

Travis
561.676.4583

Labels: Happier, life coaching Travis Thomas, mary baker eddy, Tal Ben-Shahar, The World is Flat, Thomas Friedman

(This is part of the "Road Less Traveled" series)

In some of my past blogs I have mentioned a friend of mine who is doing some amazing work with her company WorldBlu. Well, this series is the perfect opportunity to profile Traci Fenton up close and let her tell you in her own words what exactly WorldBlu is, how it came to be, and how it may very well change the way the world works.

Travis: So Traci, give me your elevator description of how you describe WorldBlu.

Traci: Sure! WorldBlu exists to elevate the human sprit by inspiring the supporting the design and development of democratic workplaces around the world. I first founded WorldBlu in 1997 as a non-profit think-tank and then launched it in its current form in the fall of 2003 as a for-profit company.

Travis: But why? Why did you decide to start WorldBlu?

Traci: Founding WorldBlu was never a decision for me, it just something I HAD to do. Although it may sound odd to say, there was no choice involved. I just felt it was my calling, part of what I was made to do in this life. There was an inescapable pull to start it and give all my heart and soul and sometimes blood, sweat and tears to it. I knew that if I didn't it wouldn't let me go until I did. And even though technically I'm the founder of WorldBlu, I feel like each day I strive to be good enough to get to work there.

Travis: You say it was a "calling." Can you elaborate on that? Would you also say this work is part of your life purpose?

Traci: Absolutely this is my calling and my purpose! My purpose in life is to help move people from a mind-set of fear into a mind-set and life of freedom. I strive to do that in many ways, but professionally I get to do it as WorldBlu. How do I know it's my calling? Because it's in my DNA! It's the same thing that sometimes breaks your heart and makes you feel like you can fly! It's the thing that deepens you and brings together all the things you love. The paradox of living your purpose is that it's the most selfish and unselfish thing you could ever do. And when you're doing it you just know and nothing can shake you from it.

Travis: You mentioned that you help people move "from a mind-set of fear." How have you overcome your own fears?

Traci: The first fear is always self-doubt and internal resistance. Who am I to do this? Who will listen to me? Why should they listen to me, etc.? People tell you to push those questions aside but I think you have to take them one by one and answer them for yourself.

Asking myself, "Why would anyone listen to me?" has pushed me to become an expert in my field. I wanted to be in the know so that others would listen to me! So you learn to manage and eventually transcend your own self-doubt but then you also hit the logistical obstacles which usually revolve around lack...lack of money, time, resources, people, and clients, etc. But I've come to learn that lack is just a way of seeing. I'm still learning this lesson each day, but as I focus on wholeness, I see that more and more played out in my day and at WorldBlu in unexpected ways.

Travis: What are some of the other obstacles you have had to handle?

Traci: I think another set of obstacles that you then find is what others think about you or your company and their criticism in its myriad forms that come along. This year one of our major projects got a lot of press coverage, reaching about 30 million people, far beyond what we ever anticipated. With that also comes criticism and so I'm learning how to deal with that. But again, moving from fear to freedom and keeping with my purpose is often about looking fear straight-on, not ignoring it, not running from it. I have to really work at it sometimes, but ultimately if I'm dealing with a form of fear, I try to get to a point where I can say to the challenge, "Thank you because you are teaching me how to love unconditionally, how to be a smarter business woman, how to be more discerning, etc." Sometimes you just have to love the hell out of things!

Travis: To take on a cause of this magnitude - I can't imagine the spiritual resolve you need to get through each day. So, where do you turn for that support and inspiration?

Traci: There are many resources and people I turn to each day to keep me on track. You cannot do it alone and I'm so grateful for all the mentors and friends I have who unselfishly help me stay on purpose.

As a Christian Scientist, I begin each day by getting centered in what I've learned about God expressing His life as me and listening for direction for God. That always comes first. I read Science and Health by Mary Baker Eddy and the Bible each day. I am also blessed to have a cadre of fantastic spiritual and business mentors who coach me and keep me in the zone and who are also willing to kick my bum if I'm not! You've got to surround yourself with people who hold you accountable to your purpose.

People who are going BIG in life also inspire me, -- whether it is an innovative new idea that someone comes up with to help change the world for the better, an athlete overcoming the odds or a musician who is moving the masses through expressing soul, people who live a no-holds-barred life give me energy and feel like my soul brothers and sisters. They inspire me. I also love the book, "The War of Art" by Steve Pressfield. It's another life guidebook for me. I highly recommend it. I also do something called "commitments" each day. This is a tool that one of my spiritual mentors, Sandy Wilder, taught me, and it's a collection of things I do each day to keep me mentally sharp, awake to the world, and spiritually-grounded. I also run a lot, and this gives me time to think. I always say I'm a better person after I get back from a run! Lastly, I have learned to ultimately trust my intuition over other's opinions to help me stay the course. It's a beautiful thing when you finally get to the point where you've learned to trust yourself.

Travis: With all the people you meet and place you go - it must be hard to stay focused. How do you keep your purpose and priorities in the right place?

Traci: When my Dad - who was one of my best friends and biggest supporters -- passed on when I was in my mid-twenties, I learned a fast lesson about what really matters in this life. I got perspective and I saw that when we pass away we leave everything else behind. Who cares about the car, the house, the material stuff! It doesn't really matter in the end and it certainly doesn't define who you are.

Ultimately everything we do is just a vehicle that the universe gives us to help us let go of a material concept of life and see more of our innate spirituality. WorldBlu is one of my main vehicles for this kind of deep learning, just as I think becoming a parent or a life-partner with someone can be. They're all just vehicles. WorldBlu could disappear at the moment's notice, but the lessons I've learned, the experiences, the alchemy of it all cannot be taken from me no matter what. This perspective of simultaneous permanence and impermanence is what helps me keep grounded and not take it for granted and it keeps me in a state of awe. This is a moment-by-moment journey for me and I truly and deeply love it.

Travis: I know you are off to London - so thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts and feelings on what is truly a world changing cause and company.

Have a great day everyone!

Travis

PS - To find out more about Traci and WorldBlu - visit the Website at www.WorldBlu.com

Labels: direct life coaching, road less traveled, Traci Fenton, travis thomas, WorldBlu