Direct Life Coaching

Thank you!
How could I not do a gratitude blog being that it is Thanksgiving? And if I didn't - could I really claim to be a grateful person?

Thank you!

A couple years ago I was inspired to write a personal letter to everyone in my family (siblings, parents, cousins, grandparents) telling them how much I appreciated them. This was a great experience! I recommend it to anyone and everyone - for many different reasons:

1) How good does it feel to know how much you mean to someone?

2) How often do you really stop and think how much someone means to you? If you are like me - it can be easy to take certain friendships and relationships for granted. Forcing yourself to sit down and think about another person reminds you of the impact they have in your life. The simple act of articulating those qualities to paper lets you see how many wonderful people actually surround you.

3) It just feels good - it feels right! Whether or not you hear from the actual people you write to doesn't matter - it just feels good to think lovingly about someone. When you allow yourself to appreciate those qualities in others - it brings out the best in you. You at your best feels good - doesn't it!!!

The fun part for me was knowing how unexpected these letters would be when they were received. Not to get too much into my past - but this was definitely out of character (or so it would seem) of something I would do. I hope it allowed so of my family to see me in a different light - and for the years since I hope I have continued to reinforce the genuineness of the feelings I conveyed.

Thank you!

Two simple words that hold immeasurable power!

It is no surprise for you who read my blog (thanks mom) to know that at times I struggle with self-doubt, fear, and uncertainty over some of the bold choices my wife and I have decided to take. But, on the other side of those feelings is the resolve of trust, faith, innocence, and purpose! But no one ever said living on purpose wasn't scary!

I have spoken before that it is impossible to feel gratitude and lack at the same time. There isn't room for both. If you think you can feel both - I would say that the gratitude isn't genuine gratitude. So, if you think, "I am grateful for everything I have, BUT..." - well...is that really gratitude? Gratitude is powerful because it is the recognition that what I have right now is enough!

Right now! Not 10 minutes from now - or 10 days - but right now. I have enough in this very moment - and I am taken care of right now. So, the goal for me is to always stay in that conscious moment of what I have right now as being enough - abundant - instead of worrying about what more I want and don't have. Gratitude cannot live in that place.

Just so you know - I catch myself all the time expressing fake gratitude filled with plenty of "BUT" statements - and I am always working with catching those moments when they happen. Let 'em go - and get back to what is.

Thank you!

So, as I approach Thanksgiving. I just want to say "Thank you!"

Thank you for reading this blog. I feel like I put myself "out there" each week - allowing myself to feel open and vulnerable - but it is very powerful to do. I am so grateful for the many inspiring responses I have received over the year - and the encouragement you all continue to give me.

Thank you to all of the coaching clients I have worked with this year. You all have given me the confidence and trust in my own abilities - and I have genuinely loved every minute of every session. Although I am the "coach," - it is I who continues to learn from you!

Thank you to Jesse and Frank for still teaming with me as we continue to put on one of the most entertaining shows you will see (humbly of course). I trust you two - and I feel trusted by you. You are great partners - and better friends!

Thank you to everyone in our small church group who continue to redefine the walls of "church" - and truly understand the openness of what church is all about. It was such a blessing that this was the group we connected with when we moved to Florida - and I love seeing how we continue to progress!

Thank you to my family...parents, siblings, cousins, grandma, and grandpa. You all are incredible for supporting my endeavors. Mom, Dad, Tiff, Tam, Tiger - much love! My grandfather passed away a few months ago - but I am grateful for how long I was able to know him. "Not bad for an old turd bird from the U.P."

Thank you to my three monsters - BEAUTIFUL...BEAUTIFUL...BEAUTIFUL monsters! I can't help but wake up each morning with my kids on my mind - and they are the last think I like to see before I go to bed. Man, am I learning from them every blessed day - (and then they offer a refresher course the next week). They are very thorough teachers. I LOVE 'EM!

Thank you to my smoking hot wife! (Come on - I had to have some fun somewhere). She is my biggest cheerleader - my partner in crime - and there is no way I could be doing the things that I am doing - and strive to be the person I want to be if she wasn't in my corner 100%. It's pretty remarkable really. It is the difference between having a happy marriage - and a purposeful marriage - and she has her act together. Thank you Light Shine!

And...just a few more quick thank you's:

* Thank you "back alley" neighbors!
* Thank you Quiet Lightening!
* Thank you HeHe, Papa, and Haydes!
* Thank you Harbur's!
* Thank you Morning Dove!
* Thank you cast of GC Comedy!
* Thank you Arise!
* Thank you babysitters! Really - thank you!

Just...Thank You!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Much love,

Travis

Labels: gratitude, life coaching, Thanksgiving, travis thomas

A few months ago I replaced my cellphone because I had dropped it one too many times. Not to take all of the blame - I have a couple of younger accomplices who contributed to the damage.

This afternoon, while trying to get the three kids into the mini-van - I dropped my current cellphone on the pavement and the back cover for the battery went flying.

Did it break?

Nope...it survives another day. Phew!

The lesson learned here for me is pretty simple.

Carry less.

Pretty easy right? I mean, I was holding one kid in his baby carrier, another kid in my arms, while trying to get the keys for the car...yadda, yadda, yadda - the cellphone took a dive!

As instantly as I picked up the phone - the thought came to me, "Carry less. Huh...there is your next blog."

And here it is.

It takes very little common sense to notice that I was carrying too much in my hands to still maintain effectiveness. You can only carry so much before something has to give - in this case - the phone.

It made me think about this past week for me. For some reason, I have been uncharacteristically carrying around a lot of unproductive baggage in my head. Thoughts of fear, uncertainty, discouragement, insecurity, jealousy, and a pinch of ego (just for flavor).

Carrying these thoughts around for too long becomes very draining - as well as influencing my overall state of happiness.

Not good.

Plus, the longer I carry these around - at some point - something is going to fall - and most likely it will be much worse than a cell phone.

So, enough is enough. It ends today.

Here is the deal. We all have a limited amount that we can carry around (either physically or mentally). And to be real clear here - WE CHOOSE EXACTLY WHAT IT IS WE CARRY AROUND. No one else chooses it for us. Sure, people may try to pack our bag for us - but we ultimately choose whether we are going to pick it up and carry it around. It's only on us.

We all carry around negative emotions and feelings from time to time - the problem is - as long as we carry them around, the heavier they get. Want me to further this point?

Try this - put your hands above your head and hold up your arms. Keep them up - start now! (I'll come back to you - so keep reading).

As we continue to carry around this baggage - we get to a point where it is hard to distinguish our back from the backpack. Know what I mean? Instead of seeing it as baggage - we get to the point where we see it as our identity - as who we are.

Is that really what we want to do?

We can only carry around so much - so we need to get real selective about what we are choosing to carry around. I have probably used this quote in the past by Mary Baker Eddy, but it is relevant here again. She says, "Stand porter at the door of thought. Admitting only such conclusions as you wish realized in bodily results, you will control yourself harmoniously."

Are you standing porter for your thoughts? What are you putting in your backpack and carrying around?

Okay - how are your arms doing? Kind of feeling it - aren't you? Okay - you can put them down.

Sure, a negative, cynical, or apathetic thought here and there may not seem that detrimental - but when you keep it in your bag - and then let it grow - it can and will snowball into something ugly.

What ugly thoughts are you carrying around...about your boss...co-worker...spouse...government, etc.?

What does your bag look like? Do you like what you see - or is it time to empty out your bag and take stock of what you have been carrying around?

Odds are - some of that baggage has passed its expiration date - so it might look foul.

With the holidays approaching and everything that goes along with that - now is the perfect time to clean out your backpack and make sure you are happy with what you are choosing to carry around.

Just make sure you pack light...or is it lite? They both work :)

If anyone wants some help figuring out how to pack your bag - just give me a call!

Much love!

Travis

PS - A friend sent me a link to this video called "Shift Happens." I think you will enjoy it. (Thanks James)
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/video/shifthappens

Labels: happiness, life coaching Travis Thomas, mary baker eddy

Today I was having a frustrating day. It wasn't directed at any particular person or event - but was more an accumulation of events that aggravate my patience. Now, I have blogged about my patience in the past - and when it comes to the really important things in life, I feel I have excellent patience. People are often surprised when I tell them that I often struggle with patience, but when it comes to some of the day-to-day things that really shouldn't push my buttons - it happens.

Back to today. It started with two of my kids waking up REALLY EARLY and than feeling less than terrific. Once everyone seemed back to form we piled into the car for a trip to the bank and then Home Depot. When we got to Home Depot - my wife and I both realized neither of us brought our wallet (how does that happen) - so we needed to go back home to get it. We did. Once back at the Depot - service wasn't at its height (I am being nice). Our 20 minute trip turned into an hour. Kids got restless - dad got restless - you get the point. We then had to take the paint we purchased to finish our errands at another stop - at which point the kids were cranky, hungry, and tired (or maybe it was just me). At that point, I was definitely in a funk (not to be mistaken for feeling funky!).

I was taking a lot of deep breaths because I really needed to shake my mental funk. Hearing my 10 week old son screaming for what felt like hours (probably minutes) made it hard - so I tried to take my thoughts back to peaceful prayers and a smidgen of perspective.

Bottom line - I needed a new residence for my thoughts. I needed to move.

So I did.

Where I was living mentally didn't feel too good - and it was beginning to poison everything and everyone around me. That is pretty much what our thoughts do.

Coaching has reinforced for me that it really doesn't matter who you are, where you "physically" live, or how much money you make that brings happiness and peace - but rather it is the foundation of your beliefs that determine how you see the world.

Your beliefs create your perception - and then your perception creates your reality.

It is yours - no one else's!

So...where do you live?

What are your beliefs about work, career, happiness, success, and relationships based on? Is it a positive and good foundation of beliefs - or is it fearful, skeptical, and daunting? Do you think there might be a correlation between your beliefs on these topics - to you current reality?

I am guessing yes!

In Stephen Covey's "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" he talks a great deal about the paradigms we live by as individuals. He writes, "To try to change outward attitudes and behaviors does very little good in the long run if we fail to examine the basic paradigms from which those attitudes and behaviors flow."

i.e. - you can't fake authenticity, sincerity, and truth - if it isn't part of your core.

He also adds, "Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are -- or, as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms." Then lastly, "Where we stand depends on where we sit."

Where do you live?

How do you describe yourself...friends...work..etc.?

Abraham Lincoln (a pretty decent President) may have been on to something when he said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Mary Baker Eddy also writes, "Our false views of life hide eternal harmony, and produce the ills of which we complain."

Where do you live?

Do you like your neighbors? Do you like your boss and co-workers? Do you like yourself?

To get out of my funk - I needed to recognize where I was living - and remember this was "my perception" and no one else's. It was no one's fault but my own.

I took responsibility - and realized this was an inside job - instead of waiting for the world to change for me. That sounds kind of silly - doesn't it?

Guess what! I am not going to disown my kids after all (at least for one more day). Phew!

If you need some help sprucing up your mental property - I am always happy to talk!

Much love!

Travis

Labels: Abraham Lincoln, direct life coaching, mary baker eddy, Seven Habits of Highly effective people, Stephen Covey