Direct Life Coaching

I just got back from an amazingly inspiring two-day workshop in St. Louis centered around the idea of living life more on purpose. I connected with 10 other unique, interesting, and humbling individuals all aspiring to gain a clearer understanding of what it means to take an intentional and conscious approach to every aspect of life. Which begs the bigger question...

Why did they invite me? ;)

Okay, I actually got great feedback from a friend (and blog reader) who thought that I am sometimes too self-deprecating in my posts. She felt I needed to give myself more credit for grasping the ideas I write about - without having to put myself down in the process. Well, point taken, and I appreciate your input mom. Just kidding, but you know who you are :)

During our two days together - there were so many nuggets of insight and inspiration providing refreshing new clarity. On the second day, one of the attendees was sharing how she and her fiance no longer ask each other, "How did you sleep?" Instead, they ask, "Are you awake?"

Are you awake?

I love it!

That is such a better question! I knew it was a blog as soon as I heard it (thanks SR) - and here I am writing it.

She went on to clarify that asking someone about their sleep is basically asking them, "How was your unconsciousness?" As if that is something we should be aspiring to - a great state of unawareness.

I thought to myself...hmmm...I am a terrific sleeper...great...which means I turn off my consciousness very easily. I should be so proud ;)

That said, a good sign of sleep is the fact that you can go to bed without dwelling over all of the mindless thinking that prevents us from sleeping. Those thoughts do not represent being awake - they equal unconsciousness as well. Yes, it is possible to be awake - and still asleep. We do it all the time!

What does it mean to be awake?

For me, it is all about purpose. If you feel your life has purpose, and you can identify and articulate what that purpose is - there is a good chance you are awake. Another IMPORTANT criteria would be that your purpose is not the attainment of something outside of yourself - but rather a deeper understanding of who you already are.

Again, purpose is "the who and how" you are - not the "what."

You already have it - so it cannot be achieved by a specific job, income, goal, or accolade. That said, a life on purpose might bring many or all of these things - but not when they are the focus - that wouldn't be purpose.

Ahhh...the catch 22!

Let me be serious for a moment. You need your purpose. Not later - now!

The world needs you on purpose - now! Why, because your purpose represents truth, authenticity, peace, harmony, compassion, understanding, wisdom, hope, love, purity, innocence, forgiveness, humility, healing, etc. It represents all of these - and many more. It is the expression of your connection the the universe.

Purpose isn't some soft, romantic, cushy concept that you will eventually "get to." It's not fluff! It is the difference between TRUTH - and whatever else you are seeing on the news. Living on purpose is what creates progress and advancement in the world.

Don't be fooled into thinking the events in the world have anything to do with the economy, politics, Mother Nature, a poor childhood, the big bad wolf, or your crummy boss - BUT IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!

Mary Baker Eddy writes in Science and Health, "Lulled by stupefying illusions, the world is asleep in the cradle of infancy, dreaming away the hours."

When you are awake - you make a difference - you make a ripple in the world. When you are asleep - the world lives you. Plain and simple - and what you see is what you get. Do you like what you see?

If you are not sure...hmmm...

The world needs you on purpose - THE WORLD NEEDS YOU AWAKE!

Eckhart Tolle's new book (that I have mentioned before), "A New Earth: Awakening to your life's purpose," has this to say about the importance of this awakening:

"Your inner purpose is to awaken. It is as simple as that. You share that purpose with every other person on the planet -- because it is the purpose of humanity. Your inner purpose is an essential part of the purpose of the whole, the universe and its emerging intelligence."

This is not to be taken lightly - and at the same time - it should not feel so big and daunting. Your purpose is who you already are - when you are at your best - fully present in a moment where personal ego, agenda, and judgement is silent. This is when we are awake.

When we are awake - we live with a clarity and joy that not only blesses and feeds us individually - but it raises the standard and quality for everyone around us. You being on purpose make it easier for others to express their purpose. Good is reciprocated in good. The energy and power of you choosing to be awake makes it harder for others to stay asleep - no matter how many times they hit the snooze button.

So, are you ready to be awake?

If so - give me a call - I will gladly serve as your alarm clock!

Much love,

Travis
561.676.4583

People love their opinions. I know I have them.

Better yet - almost better than having them - we love to share them with anyone who will listen (and those who don't as well).

"Well, I guess I'll put my two cents in!"

Now, I understand. Not only do we have opinions, the reason we often want to share them is because we think they will be helpful (so we think). "So, whether you asked for it or not - here is my opinion - and you might want to listen - because I know what I am talking about."

Isn't this the reason for talk radio...editorials...and better yet...

BLOGS!

Yikes!

Here's the thing we should not forget - when someone offers their "two cents," remember - IT'S ONLY TWO CENTS!

But we rarely value our own opinion as just two cents - often mistaking our thoughts as being worth much more than pennies. So, instead of sharing "Here is what I would do," we quickly jump into, "Here is what you SHOULD do!"

Recently someone gave me a quote that has stuck with me - and I try to keep it front of mind whenever I am about to share my 'two cents' - and the quote is -

"Don't 'should' on me!"

Honestly, who wants to be 'should' on?

Whenever you are in a conversation and someone starts telling you what you 'should' do - how does that make you feel? Were you even asking for a solution?

In all fairness - it is an easy rut to fall into. Why? Because we have grown up in a society that loves to fix.

You got a problem? I can fix it!!!! And here's what you 'should" do!

Whether it is your spouse, kids, friends - or sometimes the stranger off the street - if we here a problem - we quickly add a solution.

But, is this really what the person is ultimately looking for? Think back to a time when you unloaded some feelings on someone. What were you really looking to do? Have your feelings or problem fixed - or be heard and understood?

I am betting it was probably the latter. So, the question is - did you feel that way after your interaction?

Did you feel like this person really tried to understand how and what you were feeling - or did they go into fix mode and "should" on you?

This is a tricky, tricky thing - and not something I can get into too much in a single blog - but I wanted to put it out there as something to think about.

If you truly care about a person - and they are coming to you to share some things they are really thinking or struggling with - might they be looking for a solution from you - or perhaps are they just really seeking to be heard and understood?

The truth is - when we are dealing with something difficult - we often know in our heart what we need to do - but it doesn't mean it is the easy thing to do. We struggle with it, we even fight it, and often times we commiserate with others how difficult or unfair the situation is - but deep down inside - we know what the right thing to do is.

So, when we do open up to someone - we don't want to be 'should' upon - we want to feel heard, supported, understood, and loved!

Yes, the temptation for the other person is to "fix," but if we can just resist the urge - and seek to understand more clearly what the other person is feeling (regardless of our personal opinions) - you allow them to explore deeper and get clearer on what it is exactly they are feeling - and what they need to do. By doing this - we allow them to better understand themself.

Now, I am not going to say you 'should' try this next time the opportunity arises - but I dare you to!

Those are just my two cents - and they really are just two cents :)

Much love,

Travis

PS - Get coached this week - give me a call! 561.676.4583
travis@directlifecoach.com

Labels: direct life coaching, life coaching, listening, self-help, travis thomas

That's right - you heard me - I have a new BFF...a new Best Friend Forever.

His name is Leo.

You may have seen Leo and I hanging out at the mall drinking our Orange Julius, or cruising the strip at night - hanging out in the Taco Bell parking lot after hours.

Did you see us?

No...maybe not? Yeah, that's kind of weird.

Actually, my new best friend is imaginary.

Wait a minute - that's even more weird.

Okay, let me explain. I have been dealing with a lot of ego recently. And by a lot of ego, I mean my own. It has been showing up in lots of ways - in different areas - and I don't like it. It has effected the way I have thought about relationships - and at different times it has kept me in a funk.

For me, ego is my worst enemy. When I think of ego, I am basically meaning anything in my life that I have attached to my identity based on past experiences (including accomplishments or failures), possessions, and physical appearance.

You may be thinking to yourself - isn't that everything?

Without our possessions, past experiences, or physical identity...who are we?

Man I ask great questions ;)

Well, for different people the answer is going to be different. Based on spiritual or religious preference alone - that will greatly effect "who" you are without your ego.

For me, when my ego is out of the way - I am fully present as an expression of Love's qualities. Now, Love to me is my concept of God, but not in an anthropomorphic sense. No big guy in the sky - but rather a Divine Presence, the One intelligence - the one and only Truth.

So what am I?

I am the expression of this one Truth, this One Love. So, that has nothing to do with my appearance, body, ideas, car, bank account, trophies, accolades, or failures. It has nothing to do with how my parents treated me (good or bad), what school I went to, or what other people think about me. It doesn't even have anything to do with my emotions.

As an expression, I know that my only job is to "be." To be present in every moment. Not sweating over the past or fearing the future, but just knowing that who I am is changeless and constant as the expression of Perfection.

Mary Baker Eddy describes it better in Science and Health when she says, "Man is the expression of God's being. If there ever was a moment when man did not express the divine perfection, then there was a moment when man did not express God, and consequently a time when Deity was unexpressed--that is, without entity."

In this consciousness, "my" feelings can't be hurt by others, because my connection is straight to Love who gives me all the value I need. "My" work is not attached to me - but rather something I bring my expression to. Whether my ideas or value is recognized and celebrated does not change the fact that my true worth with Love is complete.

Anything that tries to tell us otherwise - is just ego.

In his new book "A New Earth," Eckhart Tolle breaks ego down and gives it a slap in the face, and he reminds us all not to be to intimidated by it. He writes:

The ego isn't wrong, it's just unconscious. When you observe the ego in yourself, you are beginning to go beyond it. Don't take ego too seriously. When you detect egoic behavior in yourself, smile. At times you may even laugh. How could humanity have been taken in by this for so long? Above all, know that the ego isn't personal. It isn't who you are. If you consider the ego to be your personal problem, that's just more ego.

BAM! That was a smack in the face I needed this week. That's why I got Leo as my new friend. So, let me introduce you to LEO - Leave Ego Out.

Whenever my feelings are getting hurt - I turn to Leo. He's always there. The good news is - he can be your friend too ;)

Have a great week!

Travis

PS - Love yourself this Valentine's Day. I am offering 3 one-hour coaching sessions for just $125. So, if you have been wanting to test the waters - this is the perfect time.

PSS - I have been unable to send out the newsletter e-mail to all of you who signed up for it. So, I should have that resolved soon.

Labels: A New Earth, christian science, Eckhart Tolle, ego, life coaching, mary baker eddy, Science and Health, travis thomas