Direct Life Coaching

(Now, as I write this blog I realize there is a reality show on FOX called "The Moment of Truth." This blog has nothing to do with that show. Sorry if I teased you.)

At some point in my life I know that I would love to run a marathon. In order to do so, I know that I will need to make some conscious choices in my day-to-day activities to make time for preparing for the big day. To run a marathon, most people train for months in order to condition their body for the grueling 26.2 journey. To wake up this morning, and decide I am going to run a marathon today is possible - but would it yield the best results?

What are you training for?

Now, you might not be training for a marathon, but we are all preparing for something. Some of us have chosen professions that we feel will yield financial security in the long run (no pun intended). Others have dedicated their life to a skill, trade, or craft that they hope will eventually reap dividends. Or, some of you may spend time reading, exploring, and pushing yourself to learn new skills and better yourself.

We are always preparing for something. Or, as my college soccer coach used to say, "Failure to prepare = Preparing to fail."

When we think of "Moments of Truth," we often think of Superheroes saving the day in a movie, athletes rising to the occasion, or emergency workers at the scene of an accident.

Yet, whether we know it or not - we are constantly being bombarded with our own "moments of truth."

They come at us everyday, all the time, in varying degrees. Now, the results might not always be life or death - but how we respond in these situations can have a tremendous impact in ways we might never know, for ourselves and others. If you are racking your brain trying to think of examples in your life, they might show up in some of the following common events:

* How you respond to your child who is having a breakdown
* The words you choose when someone cuts you off on the road
* How you talk about a friend behind their back
* The way you respond when something doesn't go your way
* What you do when you see a stranger in need

In each of these events - they represent a moment of truth! You just never know how seeming "insignificant" events impact others. A random act of kindness - or choosing not to participate in a negative conversation might not seem the same as saving someone from a burning building - but when you consistently make good choices - it will have a positive effect on everyone in your life.

So, the question becomes - "What do we do to make sure we respond our best in these moments?"

What are you training for?

If we begin to look at all of these events as something we train for - than what are we doing on a daily basis to prepare for these moments? Failing to prepare is preparing to fail. Or, to think about it this way - are we living our life with mental (or spiritual) dominion, or are we letting life live us (like a victim)? When life lives us - it can feel like a roller coaster of successes and failures, but when we approach each day with a mindset of being ready and preparing for these moments - we don't allow ourselves to get caught off guard.

Do you feel like the victim - or are you claiming dominion for how you respond to these events?

The runner getting ready for the marathon has a plan - and so should you. It could be as easy as finding 10-20 minutes a day to journal, read a new book, pray, meditate, take a walk in nature. Give yourself some down time to unwind. It doesn't have to be drastic changes - but it needs to start with something.

Each day presents us with moments of truth - and the better you are prepared - the more alert you will be to noticing and responding in the way you are needed. This is bigger than you. Your family needs you at your best - as does everyone around you.

Are you ready to start training?

If you need a kick-start - give me a call!

Travis
561.676.4583

Labels: life coaching, life coaching Travis Thomas, marathon, purpose coach, The Moment of Truth

Living on purpose is simple - but not easy. But, don't be fooled, this blog is not about the basics of living on purpose. Instead, I am taking a moment to celebrate that this is the 101st blog I have written for this site.

101!

That is a lot of blogs - whose with me?

Okay, enough celebrating. Here is blog 101:

Recently a friend sent me a link to this quick online video: CLICK HERE TO WATCH IT!

(Make sure you have watched the clip before continuing - it is kind of important.)

Well, did you miss it the first time?

When I developed an anger and stress management program last year - I showed a similar video to the one you just watched. From my experience - between 70-80% of the people who watch the video do not see the moon-walking bear. So, the question is, if you didn't see the bear...

What else might you be missing?

This video has been a great tool for me to use in the past in really opening up the idea of "where" we put our focus. So, "where do you put your focus?"

To me, this video is bigger than just being so focused on a goal or project that we lose the bigger picture, but if that is all you take from it, that lesson is big enough on its own.

I think we can all relate to times in our life when we are so consumed with a goal that we put on our blinders and don't let anything else distract us. Sometimes this is good, because distractions can take us away from our focus. But, if this single-mindedness is so inflexible, what might we miss in the process?

Is it possible that something completely unpredictable could come along that might even be a better option or solution? But, if we don't make ourselves open to new possibilities - we won't see them when they are there.

The bigger question for me in all of this is...

Is it possible that a better solution is always available - we just need to see it?

Okay, that is more a statement, but I added a question mark - so it's now a question...sort of.

And, what prevents us from seeing these other options?

To answer that - go back to the video. You were given one simple rule to follow. One rule that dictated your focus. Because of that one focus - you missed the alternative opportunity.

So what rules do we live by that keep our focus? Some of these rules over the years may have even become permanent attachments to our identity - such as:

* I am not smart enough. (So I unconsciously look for ways to not be smart)
* Making money is a grind! (Guess what - making money is always difficult as a result)
* There is never enough [blank]. (You are right - there isn't enough)

A rule or opinion someone else thrust on you, or a past experience that left a lasting impression can sometimes become part of our belief system. When that happens - what we get is what we see!

Isn't it the other way around?

Nope. What we get is what we see.

I had two very frustrating experiences over the past few days regarding customer service issues. In both of them, I was deeply humbled, not because the other people were the problem - but just the opposite. I obviously had something going on in my belief system that showed up in these people - because what I got was based on some deeper perception I was holding on to.

The reason I take ownership of this is not because these events happened - but when they happened - my response to them made me feel like a victim - and that is all on me. I choose my feelings and responses - and I decided to take on the role of victim.

I made the choice - I paid the price! (If we could add an "o" to "price" - that really would of rhymed)

Being a victim is a choice we make - it is optional. Now, don't get me wrong. Bad things happen to people all of the time - but we are the one's who choose how we respond.

Playing the victim is often weaved into someone's overall personality. If that is true for you - it is time to recognize it - own it - and now let it go! It is not something you want as part of your belief system.

How many dancing bears have we missed in our life - than cried, "Oh poor me!" Instead, maybe we need to adjust some of the beliefs and perceptions we live by.

If you want help with that - give me a call! Just moon-walk yourself over to the phone and dial me up!

Much love!

Travis
561.676.4583

I am not a big fisherman. The last time I went fishing was one of the worst experiences of my life - although it really had nothing to do with the fishing (long story). Plus, have you seen the fishing shows where these guys reel in these monster fish - the kind you see mounted on the wall? Once they pull them into the boat though - they hold it up, name it, then let it go!

They just let it go! It's called "catch and release" fishing (right Jesse?).

Catch and Release.

Growing up and seeing these fishing shows on TV - I loved the "catch" part, but I didn't understand the "release" part.

Why would you let them go?

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about this idea of "letting go." I know in the past I have blogged about leaving the ego out (my friend LEO) - and as I was on my run the other day - this idea of "catch and release" struck me out of the blue.

The last few months I have made a conscious effort to be more aware of my ego. What this basically means is that I have tried to witness my feeling and thoughts - and catch the instances where I was attaching my self-worth (both positively and negatively) to egocentric things. This would include things I owned, things I have accomplished, comparing myself to others, and even creative ideas. Now, with creative ideas - this is the most subtle because you would think it is hard to be egocentric about an idea - but I probably struggle with that one more than the others.

Since I have started being more intentional about catching these thoughts - it has been interesting to see how often I really see my ego slipping into the driver seat. This can feel rather discouraging because I am noticing that I have lots of ego thoughts, but this is really where the most important aspect of the growth takes place.

Catch and Release.

It is easy to beat ourselves up for the negative thoughts we have. In fact, our ego loves nothing more than us filling ourselves with guilt and frustration once we start to take stock of our unproductive ego thoughts. Because, if we can make ourselves feel bad for thinking bad - then we might prevent ourselves from actually doing anything about it. Self-condemnation takes over - and we have thoughts such as "I am a failure" or "Making a change will be too difficult."

In this case, once again - ego wins!

The missing ingredient is the RELEASE!

The first step in improving is the catch. Catching those ego thoughts prevents them from taking hold. We begin to see them pop up more clearly - and we are able to see them for what they are - useless.

The second step - and probably the most important is the release - because unless we let it go - we never really detach it from our identity.

CATCH AND RELEASE

Just like the fisherman - our job is to make the catch - hold it up and recognize what we are looking at - but then we need to let it go!

Pay attention now...Throw it back! Just because you caught it - doesn't mean you need to keep it! You are not your ego thoughts. They may feel like you, but they are not you. Let them go - throw them back. The fisherman is never confused into believing he is the fish, or that he created the fish, or that the fish is a part of him. Just because he caught it - doesn't mean he owns it!

Catch and release!

500,000 people tuned into Oprah's first Webinar event with Eckhart Tolle last week - and who knows how many people have downloaded it from her site or iTunes? If you haven't had a chance to read his book, or watch one of these events - I highly recommend both. Tolle is calling for the need of "A New Earth," and I think we as individuals - and collectively - are prepared to make this next consciousness shift.

Now it's up to you! You are being called upon to play a bigger game - and we are all up for it!

If your ego is saying otherwise - just catch and release. When it comes to big fish stories - you can celebrate the ego as the "one that got away"...forever!

Have a good week - and if you need some help casting your line - give me a call!

Much love!

Travis
561.676.4583
travis@directlifecoach.com

Labels: A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle, Oprah, travis thomas