Direct Life Coaching

I received a lot of great feedback from last week's blog "Taking out the trash," especially the mantra of "This is not helpful" whenever our thoughts are taking us to an unproductive or negative place.

As I was talking to someone else this week, the question came up, "What can I do so that I keep my thoughts in the right place?"

This is a common question - and it relates to a conversation I had with someone Saturday in reference to such newly inspiring books such as "The Secret" and "A New Earth." She commented that sees all of these people getting excited about these new books - but she wasn't seeing people "doing" anything about it. She asked, "Where is the sacrifice?"

Now, I have a couple of thoughts on this question.

First, whenever we see someone get excited about a new idea, especially when it is spiritually based, it is easy to be skeptical and judgemental. (I am not saying this is what my friend was doing). We want to be able to "see" someone change in order to validate their experience. Underneath this thought is probably a bit of jealousy (possibly) - because it may make us look at ourselves and think, "Hey, I want to be that excited too!"

As far as "seeing" the evidence, that can be misleading as well. No matter how well we know someone, family or friends, we can never jump inside their head. We can never live in their thoughts or fully understand the impact an idea might be ultimately having for them. Chances are - the evidence is probably there - but it might be US who is having the hard time seeing it.

Instead, wouldn't it be great to appreciate how someone is excited about a possible life-transforming experience - and simply support them on their journey. No judgement. No opinion needed. No "shoulding" on them (Yeah, you remember!)

In Science and Health, Mary Baker Eddy writes, "Human opinions are not spiritual." I have read that sentence hundreds of times over the years, but it has become more relevant to me in recent years. Why? Because any opinion that is human, or based on my ego or judgements - is neither spiritual or helpful. What would be my motive for sharing this opinion? Is it truly to be supportive, or might it be to pass judgement or even inflate my own ego? Yes - the ego is very tricky!

Okay - as far as question 1: "What can I do to keep my thoughts in the right place?"

You need a shower!

Yeah, water...soap...you know what it is. A Shower!

Summer's in South Florida can be brutally muggy with humidity. I have been known to take as many as three showers in a day - FOR DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Breathing alone breaks a sweat - so some days I need to jump in the shower just to rinse off from going to the car and back. (Relax, they're quick - I'm not a water waster!)

Externally - Showers keep me clean. They keep me fresh. They keep me from stinking.

Internally - I need to take showers as well. And yes, I take them everyday. If you want to figure out how to take intellectual inspiration - and turn it into practical demonstration - you need to build showers into your day.

That is how you keep your thoughts in the right place!

I have referred to these showers as daily commitments, as well as oxygen activities. These are activities you do on a daily basis that help you live and perform at your best. You do them everyday because they keep your thoughts in the right place. And if you are doing something that allows your thoughts to get out of control - why are you doing it?

Take a shower. Cleanse your thoughts - and get a fresh perspective about the present moment. Many people have gone through baptisms in their life - and essentially this is your commitment to cleansing yourself everyday.

Why everyday? You are only as good as today, right here, right now. Not committing is not an option!

I love talking about spirituality. I love talking about these new books, films, and other resources - but to be honest - without my daily commitments - it would just be talk. Intellectually inspiring, but practically irrelevant.

The impact of your life is too important for yourself and others to not make daily time for your shower!

If you need help - I've got the soap!

Much love!

Travis
561.676.4583

Labels: A New Earth, life coaching Travis Thomas, Science and Health, The Secret

Have you ever forgot to take the trash out? Man, the bags pile up in the garage, the smell becomes brutal, and you start to attract some unwelcome visitors. It's not a pretty picture.

Now, imagine how bad things would get if you didn't take your trash out for a few weeks - or months? Yikes!

Most of us would never think of such an experiment - yet when it comes to the trash we carry around in our own thoughts - we aren't always as tidy.

What trash are you carrying around?

This weekend I was watching "The Peaceful Warrior" (again) - and Nick Nolte's character, who is the mentor, talks about the need to "take out the trash." To get rid of all of the thoughts in your head that either keep you anchored in the past - or distracted with the possible future. The thoughts that are based on worry and fear; thoughts that center around what others think of you; and thoughts that dwell on the negative.

Do you know those thoughts?

Most of you have heard of Randy Pausch, the inspiring professor best known for his "Last Lecture" that has landed him all over the Web, including appearances on Oprah, and most recently, ABC's Primetime.

For someone who is literally living day-to-day, Randy Pausch is not carrying around any trash. Yet, when watching the special on ABC, it was his wife who shared what I felt was one of the more helpful ideas I have heard in a long time. Diane Sawyer was asking her how she was dealing with her own grief, especially when watching her husband play with the kids, and knowing he will be gone soon. She shared that her therapist gave her a mantra to repeat whenever she was having these thoughts and feelings. The mantra she recites during these times is "This is not helpful."

This is not helpful!

I am not sure there could be a better phrase or statement in helping you mentally take out the trash. Just that one simple statement - "This is not helpful," and you can bring yourself back to the present. It might sound too simple - but it works.

Last week was an incredibly busy and full week for me. For this I was grateful. For 6 days straight I was either presenting or performing - so I really to be on top of my game. I had been praying for the weeks leading up for harmony, patience, and humility - and the ability to yield to each situation knowing that everything that needed to be done would unfold in proper time. This was part of my process of taking out the trash.

Unfortunately, on the first day, I came down with the flu - which needless to say, wasn't something that was going to help my week. At first I was feeling a lot of frustration and discouragement - angry over the fact that I had to deal with this. Plus there was the fact that I wasn't feeling well - which was making me question how I was going to get through all of the performances. There was a whole lot of frustration, fear, worry, and negativity bouncing around in my thoughts. Needless to say...

"This is not helpful!"

If I were counting, I probably repeated "This is not helpful" over a hundred times during the past week. Some of the thoughts were like this...

"Why the flu now?" "This is not helpful!"
"I am not sure I can do the show tomorrow." "This is not helpful!"
"When will this flu be over?" "This is not helpful!"
"Why did this week have to be so busy?" "This is not helpful!"

All of these thoughts - it is easy to see how they were either leaving me in the past or taking me to the future. None of them were helping me deal with the present. And if you are entertaining any thought that is taking you away from the present - you need to take it out as trash.

This is not helpful.

My week ended beautifully. Every single presentation and performance went smoothly - and I couldn't of been happier with the results. I got extra rest when I needed it, my wife chipped in big time and took care of all of the kids needs, and I just yielded and trusted that Love would get me through every experience - which IT did!

So, whether we are dealing with our ego running rampid - or fearing "what could be" - these simple words - "This is not helpful," will always bring us back to the present.

If you need help taking out the trash - just give me a call - I would be glad to coach!

Much love!

Travis
561.676.4583

Labels: life coaching Travis Thomas, Peaceful Warrior, Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture