Direct Life Coaching

I can't help but be impressed with Intel's slogan, "What's inside you?" It's a great question, isn't it?

This past weekend, for any sports fans out there, you got to see one of those special sports moments that will be talked about for generations to come - Tiger Woods winning the US Open on one leg. Now, not to be too dramatic, he had a second leg, it just wasn't much use. People questioned how bad the knee was really injured, but they are not questioning today with Tiger's announcement that he will have season ending knee surgery, as well as rehabilitation for a double stress fracture on his tibia.

The story is also being told today of how Tiger's doctor told him to not play in the US Open, but Tiger told him, "I'm playing in the U.S. Open and I'm going to win."

What's inside you?

Wayne Dyer is a favorite author of mine, and he uses this analogy of an orange. (I will paraphrase) Dyer says that when you squeeze an orange - orange juice comes out - because that is what is inside an orange. Now, when it comes to us, whatever we are keeping inside of us (i.e. negative or positive feelings and emotions) - that is what will come out when we get squeezed too.

This has been extremely helpful to me over the years, and it was one of the first pieces I included in my anger management workshop. I was thinking about this more today - and I started to extend this analogy of the orange a little further.

So, we take the orange - it's a simple orange. If we take the orange and put it in a traffic jam - it's still an orange. If we take the orange and we deplete its bank account - it's still an orange. If we insult the orange, ignore the orange, or try to change the orange into something else (maybe a candy bar) - it's still an orange. Orange juice comes out!

No matter what circumstances you place that orange in - you cannot change its essence. It is what it is!

Now, let's take out the orange - and put you in its place. You are in the traffic jam - you have a depleted bank account - you are insulted - ignored - and instead of changing you into a candy bar, someone wants you to think more like them. So, you are not an orange - but you are squeezed - so what comes out?

Whatever is inside of you - that is what is going to come out.

Most of us get it wrong. We still think it is the experiences that dictate who we are - and whether we are happy or not. So, if things are "good" based on what we think is "good" - we are happy, and vice versa. We let "what happens to us" determine our sense of peace.

Not the orange. No matter how you squeeze it - you still get orange juice!

So I challenge you for a moment. Take "who you are," and strip away the job title, your education, background, your bank account, size of your house or type of car you drive, and the number of friends you have. Take all of that exterior stuff away - and what are you left with?

Whatever it is - that is a closer representation of who you are!

What's inside you?

I catch myself all of the time noticing "what's inside of me." It happens when I am running late for something, trying to put something together, or listening to something on the news. All of these events create a stimulus that causes certain thoughts or feelings to rise to the surface - and they might show up as anxiety, stress, frustration, doubt, etc.

Now, the tendency would be to focus on the actual events - instead of the feelings these events reveal. For instance, since I don't enjoy nor seem to do well with "assembly required," I should probably avoid those opportunities like the plague. But, what is more important than the actual stimulus - is the response.

What's inside you?

For me, I have tried to embrace the idea of "being squeezed." If I were an orange, everyone would be well quenched :) I have come to realize more and more - that the squeezing is really just an opportunity to learn and grow. If we are feeling "squeezed" - it means some feelings are coming to the surface that might need to be addressed. Behind these feelings are often hidden some accepted beliefs causing us to feel squeezed. So, instead of getting mad at the events - dig deeper to the beliefs beneath the feelings. That is where you will find what is really inside you.

The event causing the squeeze is only "bad" because it is drawing out feelings and beliefs that we have not resolved. In reality, it's not "bad" at all, because without it, we would never grow. As Eddy says in Science and Health, "Through great tribulation we enter the kingdom. Trials are proofs of God's care."

Now, as I mentioned, we will not always like what we see when we get squeezed. That's okay - the important part is that we are seeing it and recognizing it. Embrace the opportunity to grow - and realize that it has nothing to do with the event - and all to do with you. If you don't like what you are seeing - it is probably time to look at some of those beliefs and decide how well they are serving you. If they are not serving you in beneficial way - maybe you're ready for a new perspective.

Nike brilliantly debuted a new Tiger Woods commercial on the same weekend of the US Open. It is the voice of Earl Woods (now deceased) talking about how he raised Tiger and instilled him with mental toughness like no other.

It couldn't of been timed more perfectly as Tiger demonstrated the depth of his mental toughness. Whether it was dealing with the pressure of needing to make birdie putts on the 18th hole on back-to-back days, or enduring the pain of his knee - Tiger's mental toughness was unbeatable. I actually heard him respond to a question about his hurt knee after his Saturday round where he said, (paraphrase) "Yeah, it hurts, but it's just pain."

The man was squeezed for five grueling, pain-enduring days - and look what came out.

What's inside you?

You are the one constant in your life - because wherever you go - you will be there :) Your happiness, success, and peace is determined by how you choose to show up and respond to all of life's experiences. You need you at your best - as does everyone around you!

If you are looking at yourself and need help with some of the things that are coming to the surface - I am just a call or e-mail away. I would love to assist you in bringing out your best and playing a bigger game.

The reality is, greatness and perfection is what is really inside all of us - even if our name is not Tiger.

Have a great week!

Much love,

Travis
561.676.4583

Disclaimer: I have a brother named Tiger - and he's pretty impressive as well ;)

Labels: christian science, life coaching Travis Thomas, mary baker eddy, Nike, Science and Health, Tiger Woods, Wayne Dyer

For awhile I have yearned to write a book that revolves around coaching - and if so, I think this would be the title:

All In: How a silly poker term transformed my life!


Now let me be clear. I have played poker maybe three times in my life - and let's just say I am not a card shark. For me, it was an accomplishment to know what cards beat what - and beyond that - I had no idea what I was doing. I know I am in the minority, considering the number of poker Web sites, weekly tournaments at sports bars, and television networks that have their own show - may favorite one being "The Poker Tour: Festa al Lago" on the Travel Channel.

Nothing says travel like poker!

All of that said, the one term and idea I do understand is when a player goes "All in!"

Essentially, going "All In" means a player is betting all of his chips on that one hand. If he wins, he wins big (usually) - but if he loses - his chips are gone - and he is done! At some point in most poker games - for a player to win he/she needs to go "all in."

High risk for high reward.

So as I was on my run today, I was praying and listening for inspiration and guidance. As many of you know, I am a life coach and an actor. I love both - but together - they don't make ends meet. That is just the reality right now. Doesn't mean it will always be the case, but right now it is. My wife and I have been grateful for over the past 3 years plus that we have been able to live and provide for our family, make radical life choices, without having what one would describe as a constant stream of income.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not a trust fund child ;)

So we are at a point in our life where things might seem to be a little "anxious." We are not panicking or getting desperate, but we have had to expand our openness to where we should be and what we should be doing. Those who know me know this is nothing new, but right now we are being more proactive.

Everyday I pray and listen for the right steps for our family. I pray to be led to do the right thing - and I try to get as much of my ego out of it as possible. This can be tough. On the surface, I have battled thoughts of frustration that things haven't always "taken off" like I would of hoped - or different opportunities didn't blossom better. Most of these lead back to the question of, "Am I doing the right thing?"

After much silence and prayer, the answer always comes back, "Yes, you are doing the right thing!"

All In!

So here I am on my run today, feeling a bit nervous and uncertain about the future, and this idea comes to me that "You need to be All In!"

"But haven't I?"

And as I listened to that question - the answer became, "No."

I haven't been "all in" - and I could clearly see how. For as much as I have claimed to be open to new opportunities and getting myself completely out of the way, I have been secretly creating parameters to what that must look like. I have been willing to be open, as long as it meant not having to get rid of "x." It also meant that my source of comfort and peace has been determined by things other than my true Source.

You are either all in - or you are not!

In poker, you don't say, "I am all in - except for these three chips I am going to keep under my palm - just in case it doesn't work out." It doesn't work that way. Yet, that is what I have been doing - and it was obvious!

A friend of mine sent me this quote from "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle, "Being one with life, is being one with Now. You then realize that you don't live your life, but life lives you. Life is the dancer, and you are the dance."

I am the dance - not the dancer! Bingo.

All this time I have seen myself as the dancer creating the dance - therefore making the decisions and outlining how the dance is going to look.

Not so. I am the dance. My opinion really doesn't matter - so my only job is to be the dance...the expression of the dancer!

Being "all in" means allowing the dancer (God, Love, the Universe, whatever you see as bigger than you) to call the shots - and all I need to do is follow - and dance!

So, for me, the big "aha" is seeing that I have still been holding on to things that have prevented me from actually being "all in." I haven't been "all in," but maybe 75%...or 90%...or 99.9% - none of which = "all in!"

In Science and Health, Eddy writes, "Willingness to become as a little child and to leave the old for the new, renders thought receptive of the advanced idea. Gladness to leave the false landmarks and joy to see them disappear,--this disposition helps to precipitate the ultimate harmony."

Isn't that what I am looking for - ultimate harmony? So all of these attachments I am not releasing are the "old" preventing me from being receptive to the "new."

Not anymore - All in!

The point hit home even stronger today as I was reading for the first time "The Prayer of Jabez" shared to me by another friend (I have good friends). The author, Bruce Wilkinson, breaks down the short and often overlooked prayer of Jabez from I Chronicles. Wilkinson writes, "No matter how many sermons we've heard about God's power to work through us, we simply gloss over the meaning of that one little word through. Sure, we say we want God to work through us, but what we really mean is by or in association with."

Guilty.

So here I sit today - All In! For me right now, it means that I am asking for bigger blessings and opportunity to live the biggest life I can live, but more than anything, it means getting rid of any human attachment to any person, place, or thing that will prevent me and my family from experiencing "ultimate harmony." No more parameters or obstacles getting in the way.

I have no idea what is going to take shape or how it will happen - but that is really the point, isn't it! As the dance, it is not mine to figure out.

Do I feel like this has made a major transition in my life?

You betcha!

Much love,

Travis
561.676.4583

PS - If you need help getting "all in" - then give me a call!

Labels: A New Earth, life coaching, mary baker eddy, poker, Science and Health, The Prayer of Jabez, travis thomas