Direct Life Coaching

We are a world of choices. 200+ TV channels. 10 different kinds of Coca-Cola (Coke, Diet Coke, Coke Zero, Lemon Coke, Vanilla Coke, Lime Coke, Cherry Coke, Smoked Coke - well, not yet...but give it time!) And for your spaghetti sauce lovers - Ragu offers over 20 different kinds of sauces - seriously.

As the product of growing up in a family fast-food restaurant - I know all about choices. As a matter of fact - there were thousands of different hamburger combinations you could order based on the condiments offered - yet I still order it like I always have...ketchup, mustard, and pickle ;)

You might say we have CHOICE OVERLOAD!

How many times have you heard someone say, "I don't know - just order for me - I can't decide."

Decisions...decisions...decisions!

Recently I have been cherishing an idea that has come out of trying to intentionally live more on purpose. So, if purpose to me is living more from the core essence of who I am - and connecting deeper to my genuine and authentic self - it means that life's decisions should naturally flow out of my living on purpose. I like the word choice of "flow" because it represents a harmonic yielding to my natural expression of who I am.

In order to feel this flow, it requires that I get Travis (ego, self, opinions) out of the way as much as possible - and recognize that there is a Divine harmony always present - and my job is to align myself with this harmony - instead of trying to "figure it out."

Case in point - my wife and I are moving the family to St. Louis for a little undetermined adventure. We are renting out our home in Florida - and looking to find a home to rent in St. Louis. Our home here in Florida rented out in a manner of 10 days - Yahtzee! But, we were struggling to find a place that met our needs in St. Louis.

A few months ago I took on a new 100 day commitment to write vision statements about important parts of my life. So, for the past month or so I was writing a vision statement everyday about finding a home in St. Louis that perfectly met my family's needs. That meant the home would be comfortable, convenient, spacious, and affordable. So, I saw these qualities as being spiritual qualities - and I was willing to cherish these and surrender the rest to the Divine. I knew the house we found would meet this criteria.

But, with time ticking - none of our options were fitting this criteria. Instead, there were options that were requiring us to make "pros and cons" lists so that we could CHOOSE which place was a better fit.

You choose - you lose!

I wasn't feeling at peace with our options. We had to choose between two apartment complexes - but neither one was giving us the sense of abundance we had been cherishing. So, instead of trying to figure out which would be best - I decided to let it go for the night - and trust that the house or home we needed was out there - and that is what I was sticking to. I knew the law of the Divine was much greater than my limited perspective - so I needed to quit trying to force my will - and just align myself with the flow.

The reason I knew I needed to step back was because I was beginning to feel anxiety, stress, and worry. When I am on purpose - I feel none of these. So, "hello" - these feelings were an invitation to get back on purpose. On purpose, I will never have to "choose" - but rather let the harmony of the Divine unfold. When I let it unfold, the need to make a choice disappears - because the solution is crystal clear. Again, the solution is not coming "from me" - rather I am allowing the solution to flow through me. BIG DIFFERENCE.

So, the next day - my wife and I remembered that there was one more house on craigslist we had not looked at yet. I called to set up an appointment - and my sister (God bless her) agreed to drive over and look at the house for us (she lives in St. Louis and had been doing this for us all week). I had resigned that if this house wasn't a good fit - we would move forward with one of the apartments that seemed like a better option. My sister called me after looking at the house and said, "It's perfect - rent it!"

So we did.

I never had to make a choice. The choice was made for us. It was crystal clear. There was no weighing options, comparing lists, or "figuring it out" - the solution was so harmonious that the "human element" of making a choice was eliminated.

Choose you lose!

I don't want to say that "having a choice" is bad - but rather the idea of having to "make a choice" based on human limitations and reason will never bring us the peace we yearn for. The only way to do that is to connect deeper with our purpose (the Divine, etc.) - where the impossible is never impossible ;)

This is an ongoing learning and growing process for me. I see it as surrendering more and more my human ego in favor of seeing and listening for guidance that comes from a much deeper and powerful source. A source that surrounds each of us all the time - whether we are tuning in to it or not. I am committed to continue in fine tuning my antennae - so I will keep you posted!

If you need some more help wrapping your head around this - give me a call or drop me an e-mail.

Have a great week!

Travis
561.676.4583

Labels: coaching, Coca-cola, craigslist, direct life coaching, halo burger, Malcolm Gladwell, purpose, travis thomas

The summer movie season is upon us - and no - "Gone in 90 Seconds" is not a Nicholas Cage sequel to "Gone in 60 Seconds." The theaters definitely aren't short on sequels right now.

If anyone has been listening to any of the Oprah "Soul Series" interviews, you may have come across a woman named Jill Bolte Taylor. Her video from the TED Conference has been sent all over the Web, and she is the author of a book based on her experience titled, "My Stroke of Insight."

Jill is a brain scientist, who ironically, woke up one morning in 1996 to discover that she was having a massive stroke. And, since she was a brain scientist, she was able to experience and understand firsthand what exactly was going on. Now, I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but when you hear her tell the story of what she was experiencing as this took place, as well as what she experienced through the recovery process of 8+ years - it will change how you think about your life, body, and thoughts.

One cool factoid that I took from her interview with Oprah (and there are many) - is when she describes that from a physiological standpoint - when we feel ourselves getting angry - from start to finish the physical effect that takes place in our body lasts about 90 seconds. We all know what that feels like - increased heartbeat, tension, warmth, etc. She is talking about all of the cells in the body that kick into action whenever we have an angry thought.

Gone in 90 seconds.

So I was thinking to myself - why does it feel like some of my anger experiences last a lot longer than 90 seconds?

I guess that is a common question, because Jill read my mind. Her answer was that we choose to repeat this thought, and by doing so, we keep having our body repeat the physical defense to it. So, what should only last 90 seconds...might sometimes last 10 minutes, 3 hours, a few months - and maybe even years.

Yeah...I know...you are trying to think of things that continually make you angry - and you are wondering why you can't let them go.

As you can imagine - this perpetuating process is not great for the body either.

90 seconds - that's it.

I have been thinking about those 90 seconds - and what it takes to let an angry thought come and go in that time frame. I believe that the key in allowing for this quick recovery is in not identifying these angry thoughts as "our thoughts." Meaning, just because we think them - doesn't mean we need to own them and hold on to them.

As my friend QL would suggest, when these thoughts come into our head, you observe and notice them and then think to yourself, "That's interesting." There is no need to personalize these thoughts as part of our identity, or to feel like we have to carry them around, we can simply observe them and then choose whether they are serving us or not - and whether we want to keep them.

As Jill mentions, we extend the 90 seconds because WE CHOOSE to replay these thoughts in our head. No one else is doing the choosing for us. She adds, "Pay attention to what you are thinking, and then decide if those are thoughts that are creating the kind of life you want created. And if it's not, then change your thoughts."

If you have been reading Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, and now Jill Bolte Taylor - they all agree that "we are not our thoughts." Just because you think it - doesn't mean you own it.

About 130 years ago, Mary Baker Eddy had this to say about thoughts, "A mortal man possesses this body, and he makes it harmonious or discordant according to the images of thought impressed upon it. You embrace your body in your thought, and you should delineate upon it thoughts of health, not of sickness. You should banish all thoughts of disease and sin and of other beliefs included in matter."

It sounds to be that Eddy would also agree that we all have a choice as to what thoughts we choose to play out. So, what body and life are you embracing in your thought?

The 90 Second Challenge!

So, this week, I challenge everyone to take the 90 Second Challenge. When you feel yourself entertaining an angry thought - how long does it take you to let it go? Can you let it go in 90 seconds?

If not, why? What is preventing you from doing that?

One saying that Jill loves to share is this, "Peace is just a thought away."

Simple but powerful. No matter what you are feeling right here and right now - peace is just a thought away.

So, what is your next thought going to be?

Have a great weekend everyone!

Travis
561.676.4583

Labels: Eckhart Tolle, Jill Bolte Taylor, mary baker eddy, My stroke of insight, Oprah, Science and Health, Soul Series, TED Conference, Wayne Dyer

I am in the last week of our 3-week family adventure in northern Michigan. It has been a terrific trip hanging with family and relaxing in the "not south Florida" summer weather. People have commented about certain days here being humid - haha - if they want to see humidity - I WILL SHOW THEM HUMIDITY!

That is about as macho as I get.

Anyway, recent and exciting news for me is that I will be expanding my coaching this Fall as the assistant soccer coach at my old college Alma mater. This will be an amazing opportunity for me to get back on campus and connect with young men while coaching the game that I love.

The only problem is - I am not exactly in college shape.

Not that I need to be as fit as I was when I was a student, but the last thing I want to do is show up and be the "old man" that can't keep up. So, with training camp starting in roughly 4-5 weeks, I have been trying to step things up.

Now, I often blog about how often I run and it is usually a time I find my best inspiration. But, going for a jog a couple times a week is apples and oranges compared to running around a soccer field with 20-year olds for 3 hours.

You need to run the hill!

So, for the past three weeks or so - I have been running everyday in attempt to get myself in better shape. I have run longer distances, as well as mixing it up with sprint runs and plyometric strength training. Yeah, I am still sore.

But, none of those compare to running the hill! The dreaded hill (seen in the picture above). I knew the hill was waiting for me here in Michigan - and there was nothing I could do to escape it. The hill waits, it taunts me - and I know I have no choice but to run the hill.

So, for the last 8 days...I have run the hill. Okay, so the hill is part of a dirt road that overlooks Lake Bellaire. The hill itself is about 1/4 long, maybe less - but it feels like a lot more. It is steep, with soft dirt most of the way, and it gets steeper the closer you get to the top. The hill comes about 1/2 mile into the run - and then once you get to the top - you still have over 2 miles left. But, at that point, the worst is behind you.

I am loving the hill!

Knowing I was coming up here for a week and a half - I had been dreading the hill. The first couple of days were tough, but now that I have completed the 8th consecutive day - I am loving the hill. I need the hill. The hill has been pushing me - and each run the hill has become less and less intimidating - less scary. The result is that I know I am a lot better off than I was 8 days ago - and it has been a huge boost for my confidence.

What is your hill?

I will be completely honest here. When I was in college, I didn't have the discipline to get in shape to the level I needed to be in. I talked myself into thinking I was really in shape, but I really never was. It was never glaring on the field - but I knew. Back then - there were plenty of hills in my life I was too scared to climb. The goal I wanted to achieve as a player was important to me - but there were some hills I needed to climb (literally and figuratively) to be that player, and I didn't do it. Ouch!

My guess is that there are plenty of us out there who would love to do something special with their life - but there may be some hills that appear too scary. It is much easier to say, " That time has passed," or "It's just not that easy right now." We all have valid excuses like bills that need to paid, taking care of our kids, work obligations - etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

These are just hills. They look real scary and daunting - and maybe they really are - but what lies beyond those hills might be worth the climb. And even if you don't achieve your ultimate goal - you will still be a better person for taking on those hills. And remember, you don't need to take on all of those hills at once...

Just pick a hill - and start running!

In his book "The Inner Game of Tennis," Timothy Gallwey describes the true benefit of competition and what it means to embrace the tough challenge of a competitor. He writes, "Reaching the goal itself may not be as valuable as the experience that can come in making a supreme effort to overcome the obstacles involved. The process can be more rewarding than the victory itself." He later adds, "In the use of competition it is the duty of your opponent to create the greatest possible difficulties for you, just as it is yours to create obstacles for him. Only by doing this do you give each other the opportunity to find out what heights each can rise."

That is why I am loving my hill!

In reality, the hill I have been running up here is nothing to write a book about (just a blog), but it has allowed me to look up at bigger hills and think, "Yeah, I could do that!" I need these hills to make me better. These hills are making me better. If I got a call tomorrow telling me the soccer coaching had fallen through - it doesn't take away the little lessons I have been learning over the past few weeks.

The outcomes may change - but the lessons we learn in taking on the obstacles will never leave us empty-handed. So what are you waiting for?

I have one day left here in northern Michigan - so I get one last day to climb the hill - and them move on.

Bring on the next hill!

Much love!

Travis
561.676.4583

Labels: direct life coaching, life coaching, life coaching Travis Thomas, The Inner Game of Tennis