Direct Life Coaching

I was talking to a friend of mine recently about buying quality items instead of always buying the cheapest option. I am big fan of "a good deal," but I have also been burned when trying to cut corners too closely. My friend shared with me some advice a mentor shared with him, "Buy cheap. Buy twice." (Thanks Dave J.)

I like that. It is resonating with me on lots of different levels right now.

For the past few months I have been the assistant basketball coach for a boys high school team. I use the word "coach" loosely due to my lack of basketball knowledge. It has been a humbling opportunity for me to take on a new challenge that I have very little expertise in - so I guess I needed a dose of more humility ;)

It's a great bunch of kids. My relationship with them isn't so much the basketball side of things as much as it is noticing their mental approach and overall attitude to their performance. I admit, it has been frustrating at times. I wish I could be contributing more, but I have tried to pick and choose my spots when I can talk with the kids more 1 on 1.

Our record right now is 5-4, and there have been a couple games that could of gone either way. In thinking of the outcomes of these games, I thought of my friends quote, "Buy cheap. Buy twice." For my purposes, I have adjusted the quote to read,

"Start wrong. Start twice."

There have been a few games that we have started awfully. Games we had no reason winning, yet we would find a way to battle back. Just when we get back into the game, we would find away to give away. On the flip-side, their have been games that we have started well, suffered a let-down along the way, yet still managed to pull out the victory in the end.

So, the way we start the game has been important. If we can start the game on a good foot, doing things the right way, and laying a solid foundation for our play - it seems easier to get back to that play when things go bad. Conversely, when we crawl out of the gate with a bad start, no matter how hard we battle - closing the deal is a lot tougher.

So, it seems to be a case of in order to be successful - make sure you have a good start.

To expand this analogy a little larger, I think this approach holds true to most things in life. A relationship that begins with a solid foundation has a much better chance of surviving when things get tough, compared to a relationship that begins under questionable circumstances.

Being it's the new year, many of us commit to things we want to improve in our lives, yet the success of these changes often goes back to how closely these changes really connect to our core. For me, whether talking about basketball, relationships, career, or hobbies - the most important aspect of its success is based on our motives.

A mentor of mine, Mary Baker Eddy writes, "To begin rightly is to end rightly."

If your motives for doing something are pure, inspired, and connected to your highest sense of right - the end result will reflect these qualities. It doesn't mean the end result will always manifest what we want to happen, but it will definitely represent growth and progress that we can build from. Growth in the right direction.

If you find yourself taking something on that really doesn't have the best motives - be prepared to start twice. Man oh man - could I write a book on these lessons!!! For now I will keep it to a blog ;)

I hear people all of the time (sometimes myself included) talk about how they just keep trying and trying to make things better - yet the end result is always the same. Some people might call that effort perseverance, yet Einstein called it insanity. He writes,

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

I can relate to that. If you were a golfer and you were working on your swing, improvement is more than repetition. You want to introduce repetition once you start doing something right, yet how many of us think that if we just keep knocking on the same doors, practicing the same routine, or believing the same beliefs - that eventually all will work out? Well, that's kind of insane.

Start wrong - start twice...three times...four times...five...six...seven...eight...

It doesn't matter. As long as our motives and foundation are off center - we will be doing a lot of restarting. For me, I am sure I have been pretty insane over the past few years. When it comes to some things, I have definitely caught myself thinking that if I just keep doing what I am doing - the same way - it will eventually work out. As for my motives, those haven't changed - I am sticking with them - but a whole lot of humility and self-reflection has given me the ability to be open to new approaches and solutions. I am still a work in progress.

What about you? Are you feeling insane? Do you feel like you are banging your head against the wall - or feeling like the results always come out the same?

If so, be real honest with yourself and think about how you are starting. What are your motives? Are they connected to your center - your highest sense of right? If you are a real honest with yourself - you might only have to start twice. If you're not honest - people might start to think you're crazy.

And, if you are just not sure - give me a call - and I will help you make sure you are beginning rightly.

The end result is worth it.

Much love!

Travis
561.676.4583

Labels: Albert Einstein, direct life coaching, life coaching Travis Thomas, mary baker eddy, Science and Health, self-help

Despite living in Florida and going to the beach - I have never been caught in a rip current (commonly misnamed a "riptide"). I live in an area where these are pretty prevalent - and know plenty of people who have experienced its surprising presence.

Unfortunately, rip currents claim a number of lives each year from swimmers who get caught in the current, panic, and then drown in the process. Given the intense circumstances, it's understanding how this happens. One minute you are in knee deep water - and moments later you are being pulled out deep to sea. Not a pleasant experience.

In reality, surviving a rip current is quite easy when you know how to deal with it. Here is a diagram of what to do:



But, this blog isn't so much about surviving an actual rip current - but it had me thinking - how is this any different than life? What kind of "life" rip currents have you gotten caught in and almost drown as a result?

Think about it. You're doing your own thing, enjoying the surf, thinking you have things figured out - and the next thing you know you are getting pulled in a different direction against your will.

What do you do?

Well, most of us, myself included, often fight this change. We push back! We fight harder against the resistance knowing "we know the right way!" "I won't accept this because it's not fair!" "If I only push harder I can will my plan to work!" "I refuse to accept this change!" "This can't being happening to me!" "Not now!"

Sound familiar?

But sometimes, no matter how hard you push - it's not enough. It's a battle you cannot win - and in the process - it might even wear you down.

What would happen if you didn't resist and actually allowed the flow to carry you to this new place? Instead of getting pulled out to "sea" - what might you be able to "see" from this new perspective?

The goal or destination has not changed - but the path to get there might need a new strategy or approach. As with a rip current, the solution is not to be pulled out to sea and then stop and give up. The solution comes from recognizing that once we accept "what is," we can now see there are other options that provide much less resistance - and in this case - no resistance at all.

It's time to swim parallel.

Albert Einstein once said, "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

Resistance, or change in life, forces us to be open to new solutions in order to progress. This is not a bad thing - but actually an opportunity to discover and grow in a new way. If we always try to stay where we are - how can we ever go anywhere new - or better - more exciting - and more fulfilling?

In her spiritual guidebook Science and Health, Eddy writes, "Who would stand before a blackboard, and pray the principle of mathematics to solve the problem? The rule is already established, and it is our task to work out the solution."

There is always a solution to each problem we are faced with - but it might require being open to a new perspective to see it. As I write this blog, I can admit that I feel I have been pulled out to sea in my own life rip current - yet here I am - looking at the shore and starting to swim parallel for a new perspective. I know the path is there - so I am going to keep swimming.

If you feel yourself dealing with your own rip current - I would love to help you swim with some coaching.

You know how to find me :)

Much love!

Travis
561.676.4583

Labels: Albert Einstein, life coaching, mary baker eddy, rip current, Science and Health