Direct Life Coaching

We are a world of choices. 200+ TV channels. 10 different kinds of Coca-Cola (Coke, Diet Coke, Coke Zero, Lemon Coke, Vanilla Coke, Lime Coke, Cherry Coke, Smoked Coke - well, not yet...but give it time!) And for your spaghetti sauce lovers - Ragu offers over 20 different kinds of sauces - seriously.

As the product of growing up in a family fast-food restaurant - I know all about choices. As a matter of fact - there were thousands of different hamburger combinations you could order based on the condiments offered - yet I still order it like I always have...ketchup, mustard, and pickle ;)

You might say we have CHOICE OVERLOAD!

How many times have you heard someone say, "I don't know - just order for me - I can't decide."

Decisions...decisions...decisions!

Recently I have been cherishing an idea that has come out of trying to intentionally live more on purpose. So, if purpose to me is living more from the core essence of who I am - and connecting deeper to my genuine and authentic self - it means that life's decisions should naturally flow out of my living on purpose. I like the word choice of "flow" because it represents a harmonic yielding to my natural expression of who I am.

In order to feel this flow, it requires that I get Travis (ego, self, opinions) out of the way as much as possible - and recognize that there is a Divine harmony always present - and my job is to align myself with this harmony - instead of trying to "figure it out."

Case in point - my wife and I are moving the family to St. Louis for a little undetermined adventure. We are renting out our home in Florida - and looking to find a home to rent in St. Louis. Our home here in Florida rented out in a manner of 10 days - Yahtzee! But, we were struggling to find a place that met our needs in St. Louis.

A few months ago I took on a new 100 day commitment to write vision statements about important parts of my life. So, for the past month or so I was writing a vision statement everyday about finding a home in St. Louis that perfectly met my family's needs. That meant the home would be comfortable, convenient, spacious, and affordable. So, I saw these qualities as being spiritual qualities - and I was willing to cherish these and surrender the rest to the Divine. I knew the house we found would meet this criteria.

But, with time ticking - none of our options were fitting this criteria. Instead, there were options that were requiring us to make "pros and cons" lists so that we could CHOOSE which place was a better fit.

You choose - you lose!

I wasn't feeling at peace with our options. We had to choose between two apartment complexes - but neither one was giving us the sense of abundance we had been cherishing. So, instead of trying to figure out which would be best - I decided to let it go for the night - and trust that the house or home we needed was out there - and that is what I was sticking to. I knew the law of the Divine was much greater than my limited perspective - so I needed to quit trying to force my will - and just align myself with the flow.

The reason I knew I needed to step back was because I was beginning to feel anxiety, stress, and worry. When I am on purpose - I feel none of these. So, "hello" - these feelings were an invitation to get back on purpose. On purpose, I will never have to "choose" - but rather let the harmony of the Divine unfold. When I let it unfold, the need to make a choice disappears - because the solution is crystal clear. Again, the solution is not coming "from me" - rather I am allowing the solution to flow through me. BIG DIFFERENCE.

So, the next day - my wife and I remembered that there was one more house on craigslist we had not looked at yet. I called to set up an appointment - and my sister (God bless her) agreed to drive over and look at the house for us (she lives in St. Louis and had been doing this for us all week). I had resigned that if this house wasn't a good fit - we would move forward with one of the apartments that seemed like a better option. My sister called me after looking at the house and said, "It's perfect - rent it!"

So we did.

I never had to make a choice. The choice was made for us. It was crystal clear. There was no weighing options, comparing lists, or "figuring it out" - the solution was so harmonious that the "human element" of making a choice was eliminated.

Choose you lose!

I don't want to say that "having a choice" is bad - but rather the idea of having to "make a choice" based on human limitations and reason will never bring us the peace we yearn for. The only way to do that is to connect deeper with our purpose (the Divine, etc.) - where the impossible is never impossible ;)

This is an ongoing learning and growing process for me. I see it as surrendering more and more my human ego in favor of seeing and listening for guidance that comes from a much deeper and powerful source. A source that surrounds each of us all the time - whether we are tuning in to it or not. I am committed to continue in fine tuning my antennae - so I will keep you posted!

If you need some more help wrapping your head around this - give me a call or drop me an e-mail.

Have a great week!

Travis
561.676.4583

Labels: coaching, Coca-cola, craigslist, direct life coaching, halo burger, Malcolm Gladwell, purpose, travis thomas

I just finished reading Gordon MacKenzie's humorous and thought-stretching book "Orbiting the Giant Hairball: A Corporate Fool's Guide to Surviving with Grace." Gordon is a free-spirit who worked for the Hallmark Corporation for over 30 years - and his book is a collection of anecdotal stories and advice of what it took to survive the corporate culture.

The "Giant Hairball" Gordon refers to is the suffocating and paralyzing corporate environment that exists in most older successful businesses (not to say they aren't there in young corps too). What starts off as a recipe for success - slowly evolves into a traditional and inflexible structure that crushes newness and creativity in response to protecting the status quo. Individuality and innovation are swallowed whole by the massive bureaucratic "hairball" the grows stronger and stronger as time goes on.

So, how do you survive the hairball?

Do you jump in feet first and try to defeat the hairball from the inside out? Or, do you stay as far away from the hairball as possible never taking the chance of getting sucked in?

Actually, neither.

The solution Gordan figured out for 30 years was to orbit the hairball. He was a part of the Hallmark team, their policies and culture - yet he never sacrificed his unique and individual identity that made him who he was. He never lost touch with his own passions, goals, and principles - even if it meant going against the status quo.

To Gordon, this is what it means to "orbit the giant hairball."

I began to think - what else could be hairballs?

What are your hairballs? Yeah, I wrote "hairballs," not "hairball," because let's be honest - we all have more than one.

Is it the corporate culture you currently work in? Is it the relationship you have with family members? Is it the view you have of politics or the world? More importantly, is your own hairball the view you have of yourself?

Let's say a friend comes to you and dumps a problem on you he/she is having with a mutual friend. Your friend is emotionally charged, and it is obvious they are looking for your reassurance in supporting their feelings.

What do you?

Well, if you agree with them and allow their emotional perspective to suck you into the hairball - you now become a helpless part of the problem. Because, when you are in the hairball - it is impossible to respond rationally and responsibly.

Or, do you turn your back on your friend and ignore their situation? If so, you are avoiding their plight by turning the other way as if it never happened, and at the same time, leaving your friend feeling ignored and slighted.

What do you do?

You orbit the hairball!

In order to orbit the hairball, you need to detach your own ego and accept that "your" own opinions really don't matter. As soon as you think they do - you are sucked into the hairball. But, if you can listen with supportive, non-judgemental, compassionate ears - you are able to get your own agenda out of the way in order to see an unbiased perspective. The result is that you have all the information on how the hairball operates - but you are removed to a safe distance where you can stay clear and composed.

"He couldn't see the forest from the trees."

Kind of brings that expression into focus a little bit. Hairball!

Or, how about, "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." - Romans

Wow, kind of brings that one into clearer light as well. Hairball!

The truth is, any hairball can be scary, messy, and seemingly impossible when you're in it, but when you become an observer, instead of a participant - it loses its power. It is a spiritual lesson I have known for awhile, yet continue to work on everyday.

Raising your thought (by removing it from the muck) pulls us out of the hairball where we can clearly see where the real problems lay - and then choose the correct (and opinionless) action. Or, as Mary Baker Eddy eloquently wrote, "Progress takes off human shackles. The finite must yield to the infinite. Advancing to a higher plane of action, thought rises from the material sense to the spiritual, from the scholastic to the inspirational, and from the mortal to the immortal."

That is where I want to be :)

I would challenge all of you right now to take a look at the hairball you have you created for yourself based on passed experiences and perceptions. Does failing math in 10th grade still make you stupid? Does treating a boyfriend poorly 3 years ago still make you uncaring? Does remembering how your parents treated you as a child still make you unworthy of love?

I don't know what your hairball is for yourself - but we all have them. And, as long as we accept that as truth and operate within them - they will always hold us back.

In my mental house right now hairballs are being yakked up continually (thank God this is metaphorical). Like a hairball, the result can look messy, but it feels a whole lot better to have the hairball on the outside.

As a life-coach, it is my job to support you in coughing up your own suffocating hairballs - so give me a call.

Much love (meow),

Travis
561.676.4583
travislthomas@mac.com

PS - My friend Traci Fenton from WorldBlu has done it again! She continues orbiting the largest of hairballs - and her work has once again been recognized - this time by the Wall Street Journal! Check it out!

Labels: christian science, coaching, life coaching, mary baker eddy, spirituality, travis thomas, WorldBlu