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Thursday, January 8, 2009

Flint - my home!

I spent about 10 days home in Flint, MI over the holidays. I don't know where you are from, or where you call home, but Flint, MI is my home. I have lived in St. Louis, Boston, and Palm Beach over the past 15 years, but whenever someone asks me "where I am from," the answer is always Flint.

If you are from Flint but have lived elsewhere, you are familiar with the opinions or associations people have when you mention Flint. They either know Flint because of the documentary "Roger and Me" by Michael Moore or they have heard Flint mentioned in the statistics as one of the most violent places to live in the country. Neither option is necessarily too appealing.

For me, growing up in Flint was nothing but good. If Norman Rockwell would have painted his pictures in the 1980's, my childhood would of captured it perfectly. I had amazing neighborhood friends, and we would spend our days riding our bikes to 7-11 (I had a Slurpee fetish) or Dairy Queen. Then we would spend hours playing baseball, soccer, football, street hockey, and basketball - and when it got dark we switched to "Kick the Can" or "Hide and Go Seek." We never had a shortage of things to do, and we always felt safe.

I felt especially close to Flint because my dad owned (and still does) a chain of fast-food hamburger restaurants called Halo Burger. They are a Flint staple to this day, so I had a tremendous amount of pride growing up with that heritage. It is a family owned and operated business, and there are still employees working there who have been doing so for 30+ years in some cases. It is not glamorous work, but these are good people who care about what they do.

For the past 20 or so years is when Flint really began to have its image tarnished. When General Motors started having hard times it inevitably hurt the whole city. A town built around one company had no choice but to ebb and flow with its successes and hardships. To me, this is the biggest problem with being so dependent on one company. If you take away General Motors from Flint, what is left? I am sure this is the same story that could be told for towns built around coal mines or steel mills, shipping yards, or Silicon Valley.

It is sad. There is no other way to express my general overall feeling when I am in town. General Motors continues to pull out a little more each year. The recent struggles of the "big three" can't be felt much larger than in Flint. The trouble is, this has been happening for 20+ years, and the town keeps trying to stick fingers in the splitting damn, but the result seems inevitable.

I hope I am wrong.

I don't write this blog today to be grim, but rather to challenge people in Flint to go a little deeper. Each day when I pray I start with the idea of wholeness for myself, others, and the world. The challenge for me every time I am in Flint is to see the wholeness of the city. But, while in town this holiday break I was reading Wayne Dyer's new book, and in one of his chapters he challenges the reader to "see the perfection in imperfection." Okay, how do I do that?

Dyer writes,

"You're being asked not to label what you see as imperfect, stupid, or empty; rather look for the stillness and tranquility within you that you can bring to these superficial appearances. When you refrain from engaging in judgments based solely on looks, you paradoxically become an instrument for change."

He then adds, "See imperfections as perfect, even if your ego-mind cannot comprehend this."

So that is exactly what I tried to do. After reading this chapter I had to drive into downtown Flint for church. I was by myself so I had time to focus and just really pay attention to everything I was seeing. On the surface, it wasn't a pretty site. Boarded up houses, closed factories, and beat up storefronts. I was having a real hard time seeing any perfection in these surroundings. Actually, I couldn't find any. My ego-mind definitely could not comprehend this.

Then, while driving through town I thought about all of the people I know who still live in Flint. These are good people - GOOD people. There are life-long friends still there working and raising their families. I have relatives who have spent their entire lives in the area. I thought about all of the people who work at Halo Burger - and how amazing some of these people are. I thought about people I know who could live elsewhere, but have chosen to stay to try to improve the conditions in the city. I thought about Courtney Hawkins, who grew up in Flint and then went on to play in the NFL for many years. He could live in luxury anywhere in the world, yet he chose to come back to Flint with his wife to coach football at his old high school. A school and neighborhood that would rival some third world living conditions.

Despite its economic depravity and gritty imperfection - there is a whole lot of beauty and perfection in the people who make up Flint. My hope is that the people and the city take the current situation as an opportunity to expand their tents, instead of holding on to yesterday. If GM is the parent who raised the city, the city now needs to step out and be its own person. I am not saying to give up on GM turning their success around and contributing to the well-being of Flint, but I think it is time Flint embraces this moment to come out of the GM shadow.

How does the city do this? I don't know, but I know there are good people who can make it happen. The perfection of the city is found in the people. In the people there is hope, intelligence, creativity, strength, and persistence. The challenge may seem daunting, but it only takes one person at a time giving their consent to become an instrument of change. I requires people looking at the situation honestly and humbly, and then being able to make the scary choice. Real change is seldom easy.

This is not a typical blog for me, but I really felt inspired from my most recent trip home. Over the years I have bought into the stories of Flint, and have even been embarrassed telling people where I am from. But no more. You see, whether talking about a city or our own individual lives, there is no difference in how we make a change. Once we identify the problems for what they are, and we agree to take them head on (as ugly as it may get) - improvement is the result. There is no other option.

So, whether you want to talk to me about Flint, or how you can make a change in your own life - give me a call!

Much love!

Travis
561.676.4583

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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Choose you lose!

We are a world of choices. 200+ TV channels. 10 different kinds of Coca-Cola (Coke, Diet Coke, Coke Zero, Lemon Coke, Vanilla Coke, Lime Coke, Cherry Coke, Smoked Coke - well, not yet...but give it time!) And for your spaghetti sauce lovers - Ragu offers over 20 different kinds of sauces - seriously.

As the product of growing up in a family fast-food restaurant - I know all about choices. As a matter of fact - there were thousands of different hamburger combinations you could order based on the condiments offered - yet I still order it like I always have...ketchup, mustard, and pickle ;)

You might say we have CHOICE OVERLOAD!

How many times have you heard someone say, "I don't know - just order for me - I can't decide."

Decisions...decisions...decisions!

Recently I have been cherishing an idea that has come out of trying to intentionally live more on purpose. So, if purpose to me is living more from the core essence of who I am - and connecting deeper to my genuine and authentic self - it means that life's decisions should naturally flow out of my living on purpose. I like the word choice of "flow" because it represents a harmonic yielding to my natural expression of who I am.

In order to feel this flow, it requires that I get Travis (ego, self, opinions) out of the way as much as possible - and recognize that there is a Divine harmony always present - and my job is to align myself with this harmony - instead of trying to "figure it out."

Case in point - my wife and I are moving the family to St. Louis for a little undetermined adventure. We are renting out our home in Florida - and looking to find a home to rent in St. Louis. Our home here in Florida rented out in a manner of 10 days - Yahtzee! But, we were struggling to find a place that met our needs in St. Louis.

A few months ago I took on a new 100 day commitment to write vision statements about important parts of my life. So, for the past month or so I was writing a vision statement everyday about finding a home in St. Louis that perfectly met my family's needs. That meant the home would be comfortable, convenient, spacious, and affordable. So, I saw these qualities as being spiritual qualities - and I was willing to cherish these and surrender the rest to the Divine. I knew the house we found would meet this criteria.

But, with time ticking - none of our options were fitting this criteria. Instead, there were options that were requiring us to make "pros and cons" lists so that we could CHOOSE which place was a better fit.

You choose - you lose!

I wasn't feeling at peace with our options. We had to choose between two apartment complexes - but neither one was giving us the sense of abundance we had been cherishing. So, instead of trying to figure out which would be best - I decided to let it go for the night - and trust that the house or home we needed was out there - and that is what I was sticking to. I knew the law of the Divine was much greater than my limited perspective - so I needed to quit trying to force my will - and just align myself with the flow.

The reason I knew I needed to step back was because I was beginning to feel anxiety, stress, and worry. When I am on purpose - I feel none of these. So, "hello" - these feelings were an invitation to get back on purpose. On purpose, I will never have to "choose" - but rather let the harmony of the Divine unfold. When I let it unfold, the need to make a choice disappears - because the solution is crystal clear. Again, the solution is not coming "from me" - rather I am allowing the solution to flow through me. BIG DIFFERENCE.

So, the next day - my wife and I remembered that there was one more house on craigslist we had not looked at yet. I called to set up an appointment - and my sister (God bless her) agreed to drive over and look at the house for us (she lives in St. Louis and had been doing this for us all week). I had resigned that if this house wasn't a good fit - we would move forward with one of the apartments that seemed like a better option. My sister called me after looking at the house and said, "It's perfect - rent it!"

So we did.

I never had to make a choice. The choice was made for us. It was crystal clear. There was no weighing options, comparing lists, or "figuring it out" - the solution was so harmonious that the "human element" of making a choice was eliminated.

Choose you lose!

I don't want to say that "having a choice" is bad - but rather the idea of having to "make a choice" based on human limitations and reason will never bring us the peace we yearn for. The only way to do that is to connect deeper with our purpose (the Divine, etc.) - where the impossible is never impossible ;)

This is an ongoing learning and growing process for me. I see it as surrendering more and more my human ego in favor of seeing and listening for guidance that comes from a much deeper and powerful source. A source that surrounds each of us all the time - whether we are tuning in to it or not. I am committed to continue in fine tuning my antennae - so I will keep you posted!

If you need some more help wrapping your head around this - give me a call or drop me an e-mail.

Have a great week!

Travis
561.676.4583

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