Direct Life Coaching

On the vanity mirror in the bathroom I wrote the following on the glass with a dry-erase marker, "Today is a classroom - what are you going to learn?"

On most days the lesson I continue to learn is that I still need more patience. FYI - my kids are excellent teachers. They know how to further my education on a daily basis ;)

The truth is - there is a lesson to be learned everyday - so what are we learning?

I called a friend on the phone last week to see how his day was going. There was a short pause - and then he replied that it was "one of those days." I remarked that it sounded like one of those "learning days," and he agreed. Apparently there was a whole lot of learning going on.

When you think about that a little more - doesn't it make the trials and surprises not so bad? In truth - they are unforeseen (or foreseen) experiences that create a learning experience. At the end of the day...

What did you learn?

I spoke to another family member recently who was thinking heavily about something, and I asked the same question, "What did you learn?" Once we were able to detach our personal ego and feelings from the experience, and look at it from a perspective of growth and learning - there was a whole lot of new insight to move forward with.

Isn't that the point? To keep growing, keep learning, and move out of our comfort zones into spaces where we are forced to learn?

I am going to butcher a great quote, but someone once said something along these lines, "That a sea captain never learns a thing on calm waters." You get the point.

On the contrary - most of us walk around with the "history of our life" under our arms - and we use it as an almanac of "why I am the way I am." Instead of using past experiences as learning moments - we carry them around as evidence to justify why we aren't living a better life. Instead of seeing the positive in what we learned - we dwell on the negative of having to go through the experience.

Think back to last week, last year, or 10 years ago. What are the days or events that stick out most? Were they the days when everything went as planned - or might they have been times when you felt vulnerable, exposed, and surprised? And, if that was the case - what did the end result end up being? How much did you grow as a result? Would you be willing to trade that growth and experience in for "smooth sailing?"

Here is another question. If you are smooth sailing through life - where are you going?

Hmmmmmmmm....

In my last blog I put it out there to everyone that '08 was the year to be bigger! Within 24 hours of that blog I had three different conversations and business meetings with people wanting to play a bigger game this coming year. With each conversation - I remember feeling excited - yet uneasy and vulnerable at the same time! This wasn't because these opportunities felt bad - but because I know they are going to push me to grow in new and scary ways. Sign me up!

So, be careful what you visualize for ;)

If you need help in playing a bigger game in '08 - my first meeting is always on the house :)

Much love,

Travis

FYI - the Leading with Mastery course taught and created by Sandy Wilder is coming to South Florida in May. This is the course I have attended, and have also served in an assistant role on two other occasions. If you are at all interested, we are needing to solidify enrollment ASAP. Call me at 561.676.4583 or e-mail travis@directlifecoach.com

Labels: direct life coaching, happiness, learning, self-help

A few months ago I replaced my cellphone because I had dropped it one too many times. Not to take all of the blame - I have a couple of younger accomplices who contributed to the damage.

This afternoon, while trying to get the three kids into the mini-van - I dropped my current cellphone on the pavement and the back cover for the battery went flying.

Did it break?

Nope...it survives another day. Phew!

The lesson learned here for me is pretty simple.

Carry less.

Pretty easy right? I mean, I was holding one kid in his baby carrier, another kid in my arms, while trying to get the keys for the car...yadda, yadda, yadda - the cellphone took a dive!

As instantly as I picked up the phone - the thought came to me, "Carry less. Huh...there is your next blog."

And here it is.

It takes very little common sense to notice that I was carrying too much in my hands to still maintain effectiveness. You can only carry so much before something has to give - in this case - the phone.

It made me think about this past week for me. For some reason, I have been uncharacteristically carrying around a lot of unproductive baggage in my head. Thoughts of fear, uncertainty, discouragement, insecurity, jealousy, and a pinch of ego (just for flavor).

Carrying these thoughts around for too long becomes very draining - as well as influencing my overall state of happiness.

Not good.

Plus, the longer I carry these around - at some point - something is going to fall - and most likely it will be much worse than a cell phone.

So, enough is enough. It ends today.

Here is the deal. We all have a limited amount that we can carry around (either physically or mentally). And to be real clear here - WE CHOOSE EXACTLY WHAT IT IS WE CARRY AROUND. No one else chooses it for us. Sure, people may try to pack our bag for us - but we ultimately choose whether we are going to pick it up and carry it around. It's only on us.

We all carry around negative emotions and feelings from time to time - the problem is - as long as we carry them around, the heavier they get. Want me to further this point?

Try this - put your hands above your head and hold up your arms. Keep them up - start now! (I'll come back to you - so keep reading).

As we continue to carry around this baggage - we get to a point where it is hard to distinguish our back from the backpack. Know what I mean? Instead of seeing it as baggage - we get to the point where we see it as our identity - as who we are.

Is that really what we want to do?

We can only carry around so much - so we need to get real selective about what we are choosing to carry around. I have probably used this quote in the past by Mary Baker Eddy, but it is relevant here again. She says, "Stand porter at the door of thought. Admitting only such conclusions as you wish realized in bodily results, you will control yourself harmoniously."

Are you standing porter for your thoughts? What are you putting in your backpack and carrying around?

Okay - how are your arms doing? Kind of feeling it - aren't you? Okay - you can put them down.

Sure, a negative, cynical, or apathetic thought here and there may not seem that detrimental - but when you keep it in your bag - and then let it grow - it can and will snowball into something ugly.

What ugly thoughts are you carrying around...about your boss...co-worker...spouse...government, etc.?

What does your bag look like? Do you like what you see - or is it time to empty out your bag and take stock of what you have been carrying around?

Odds are - some of that baggage has passed its expiration date - so it might look foul.

With the holidays approaching and everything that goes along with that - now is the perfect time to clean out your backpack and make sure you are happy with what you are choosing to carry around.

Just make sure you pack light...or is it lite? They both work :)

If anyone wants some help figuring out how to pack your bag - just give me a call!

Much love!

Travis

PS - A friend sent me a link to this video called "Shift Happens." I think you will enjoy it. (Thanks James)
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/video/shifthappens

Labels: happiness, life coaching Travis Thomas, mary baker eddy