Direct Life Coaching

We are a world of choices. 200+ TV channels. 10 different kinds of Coca-Cola (Coke, Diet Coke, Coke Zero, Lemon Coke, Vanilla Coke, Lime Coke, Cherry Coke, Smoked Coke - well, not yet...but give it time!) And for your spaghetti sauce lovers - Ragu offers over 20 different kinds of sauces - seriously.

As the product of growing up in a family fast-food restaurant - I know all about choices. As a matter of fact - there were thousands of different hamburger combinations you could order based on the condiments offered - yet I still order it like I always have...ketchup, mustard, and pickle ;)

You might say we have CHOICE OVERLOAD!

How many times have you heard someone say, "I don't know - just order for me - I can't decide."

Decisions...decisions...decisions!

Recently I have been cherishing an idea that has come out of trying to intentionally live more on purpose. So, if purpose to me is living more from the core essence of who I am - and connecting deeper to my genuine and authentic self - it means that life's decisions should naturally flow out of my living on purpose. I like the word choice of "flow" because it represents a harmonic yielding to my natural expression of who I am.

In order to feel this flow, it requires that I get Travis (ego, self, opinions) out of the way as much as possible - and recognize that there is a Divine harmony always present - and my job is to align myself with this harmony - instead of trying to "figure it out."

Case in point - my wife and I are moving the family to St. Louis for a little undetermined adventure. We are renting out our home in Florida - and looking to find a home to rent in St. Louis. Our home here in Florida rented out in a manner of 10 days - Yahtzee! But, we were struggling to find a place that met our needs in St. Louis.

A few months ago I took on a new 100 day commitment to write vision statements about important parts of my life. So, for the past month or so I was writing a vision statement everyday about finding a home in St. Louis that perfectly met my family's needs. That meant the home would be comfortable, convenient, spacious, and affordable. So, I saw these qualities as being spiritual qualities - and I was willing to cherish these and surrender the rest to the Divine. I knew the house we found would meet this criteria.

But, with time ticking - none of our options were fitting this criteria. Instead, there were options that were requiring us to make "pros and cons" lists so that we could CHOOSE which place was a better fit.

You choose - you lose!

I wasn't feeling at peace with our options. We had to choose between two apartment complexes - but neither one was giving us the sense of abundance we had been cherishing. So, instead of trying to figure out which would be best - I decided to let it go for the night - and trust that the house or home we needed was out there - and that is what I was sticking to. I knew the law of the Divine was much greater than my limited perspective - so I needed to quit trying to force my will - and just align myself with the flow.

The reason I knew I needed to step back was because I was beginning to feel anxiety, stress, and worry. When I am on purpose - I feel none of these. So, "hello" - these feelings were an invitation to get back on purpose. On purpose, I will never have to "choose" - but rather let the harmony of the Divine unfold. When I let it unfold, the need to make a choice disappears - because the solution is crystal clear. Again, the solution is not coming "from me" - rather I am allowing the solution to flow through me. BIG DIFFERENCE.

So, the next day - my wife and I remembered that there was one more house on craigslist we had not looked at yet. I called to set up an appointment - and my sister (God bless her) agreed to drive over and look at the house for us (she lives in St. Louis and had been doing this for us all week). I had resigned that if this house wasn't a good fit - we would move forward with one of the apartments that seemed like a better option. My sister called me after looking at the house and said, "It's perfect - rent it!"

So we did.

I never had to make a choice. The choice was made for us. It was crystal clear. There was no weighing options, comparing lists, or "figuring it out" - the solution was so harmonious that the "human element" of making a choice was eliminated.

Choose you lose!

I don't want to say that "having a choice" is bad - but rather the idea of having to "make a choice" based on human limitations and reason will never bring us the peace we yearn for. The only way to do that is to connect deeper with our purpose (the Divine, etc.) - where the impossible is never impossible ;)

This is an ongoing learning and growing process for me. I see it as surrendering more and more my human ego in favor of seeing and listening for guidance that comes from a much deeper and powerful source. A source that surrounds each of us all the time - whether we are tuning in to it or not. I am committed to continue in fine tuning my antennae - so I will keep you posted!

If you need some more help wrapping your head around this - give me a call or drop me an e-mail.

Have a great week!

Travis
561.676.4583

Labels: coaching, Coca-cola, craigslist, direct life coaching, halo burger, Malcolm Gladwell, purpose, travis thomas

It has been a few weeks since my last blog - and that I apologize for. Right after Thanksgiving I took off for St. Louis with my family for 9 days - and just got back last night.

How in the heck is it December 7th already? When did that happen?

For the last week I feel like I have been in a bubble - but a good bubble :) I have been assisting another Leading with Mastery program - and just as I have felt the previous two times - it was an amazing and inspiring experience.

Here are a few of the ideas I was sitting with this past week...

Do less - be more!

What I mean is this. I can have the tendency to think too much about what I am "doing," and not as much time on what I am actually "being." Trying to cram a lot of activities into the day keeps you in a constant mode of doing - which makes it hard not to always be thinking in the future. Now, I am not making a case for not being efficient - but if we are always in "doing" mode, we seldom allow ourselves to be focused on what is happening in the present. Isn't that what is really key? I find that the times I am most anxious, fearful, or frustrated is when I am not present in the task at hand. Somehow I allow my thoughts to stray to the future and ponder uncertainty - instead of recognizing the opportunity and gratitude of the present moment. In that present moment - I have everything I need - and I am at my best. I feel good, so everyone around me is better off as well. You can only "be" in the now.

Play a bigger game!

How big is the game you are willing to play? What sort of impact do you want to have on your life and everyone around you? I thought about this question a lot over the week. Limitation tries to sneak in to get you to aim low - play it safe - because really, "Who do you think you are? You don't make a difference!" Well, who do you think you are - and do you make a difference? I firmly believe that the game we are all capable of playing is huge - yet we let distractions and fear get in our way of taking the field. I don't want to feel that way - and I am not going to allow myself to play small. The people you love - the whole world - needs you playing a big game - so let's play it together.

What are you committed to?
We are all committed to something. You can live on cruise control - thus committing yourself to live as society or others want you to live - or you can take ownership of your life and commit to something bigger, better, and more powerful. Something that plugs directly into your individual worth and talents - that makes you feel alive - and not only brings you joy and happiness - but is also felt by those around you. Every choice you make throughout your day is a commitment to something - so what exactly are you committing to?

Give yourself the gift of growth!
As I sat in the course last week I kept thinking to myself - look at the kind of transformation that takes place when people give themselves permission to grow. I am talking about an intentional and conscious effort to reconnect with our core - to ask ourself questions that don't have immediate answers - and to really take a hard and honest look at how we are living and where we are going. How often do you do that? When is the last time you spent time in nature and actually listened to nature? When is the last time you picked up a book that stretched your paradigms? When is the last time you honestly asked yourself, "Am I capable of more?"

So, I am gushing with gratitude for the opportunity to spend another week living into mastery. Thank you to all of the participants who welcomed me with their trust. Thank you to Sandy (QL) for letting me ride the LWM wave. And of course, thanks to my sister and her family for letting us shack up for 9 days...yikes!

So, this holiday season...an iPhone might look good - but that will only get you so far. Give yourself a gift that blesses you and everyone around you. Aren't you worth it?

Much love,

Travis
561.676.4583

Labels: direct life coaching, gifts, iPhone, Leading with Mastery, purpose

Have you ever stopped to think about the things you might try if it wasn't for your ego?

They might include:

* Taking a dance class
* Volunteering
* Writing a poem
* Being honest with a friend
* Asking someone out on a date
* Pursuing your dream job
* Trying an art class
* Smiling more
* Give a compliment
* Laughing more
* Learning a new language
* Giving a stranger a hug
* Joining a gym
* Exploring a spiritual practice or faith
* Wearing a bathing suit
* Take up an instrument
* Sing louder
* Criticizing and judging less

Okay - I need to cut the list somewhere - but it could go on and on! Do any of those activities resonate with you?

Odds are, if any of those activities look desirable to you, and you are not pursuing it - it is because your ego has jumped in the way. Yes - the ego! The voice inside your head that sounds just like you - but in reality - is not you at all. Actually, it is the voice inside your head that prevents you from being YOU!

The ego is so clever and deceptive because it shows up in what appears to be our own thoughts - cloaked in fear, doubt, cynicism, and apathy. The ego takes all of those things that would actually make you a better person - and tricks you into thinking, "I would never be good at that," "What a waste of time!" "I'll look like a fool!" "People would think I am silly." "I don't have enough time or money." "I wasn't born with those talents." "I'll try that one day - once I do the important stuff!"

The ego is a purpose killer! If you are able to articulate your life purpose and passion - the ego will be right there standing in your way!

So, what's the answer? DO IT ANYWAY!!!

Fall flat on your face. Look like a fool. Be judged. Realize your poems aren't that good. Spend too much on your trip. Get rejected. Be laughed at. Feel uncomfortable.

Yup - all of those could happen - but with no ego to stand in the way - does it really matter?

BRUISE THAT EGO!

Bruise it good! In the process, you might just find, that as unpleasant as it is to get your ego stepped on - it doesn't even come close to trying and pursuing the things you love.

Is your ego getting in the way of your true happiness?

Mary Baker Eddy writes in Science and Health, "Unselfish ambition, noble life-motives, and purity,-- these constituents of thought, mingling, constitute individually and collectively true happiness, strength, and permanence."

How important is your ego to you?

So, your goal today is to take a chance, get out of your comfort zone, follow an impulse - basically anything that might BRUISE THAT EGO!

Let me know how it goes :)

Much love,

Travis

Labels: christian science, direct life coaching, ego, mary baker eddy, passion, purpose

Have you ever played in the waves in the ocean?

You know, it gets a little rough - you're not paying attention, and before you know it you've been blind-sided by a wave - and now you can't tell which way is up. Now, you're sucking in sand and salt water - but the bottom line is...

YOU NEED OXYGEN!!!

We've all been there! Just when you think you can't make it another moment - you break the surface - take in a giant gasp of air - and your world comes rushing back into balance.

SAVED! Whew - that was a close one.

Recently I've been trying to think about my life in these same terms. Mainly, from what in life do I receive my oxygen for living?

For me, my list is pretty short and sweet - it includes:

* My wife and kids
* My family and friends
* A creative outlet (most often improvisation)
* My spiritual journey
* Helping humanity (what is my legacy?)

These are my oxygen! (Or is it, "This is my oxygen?" You get the point!)

When I have gone through stretches of discontent, unfulfillment, or straight out boredom - I can look back and notice that I wasn't getting my oxygen.

And what does that feel like?

Well, it feels like being tossed under a wave sucking in sand and salt water. It's uneasy, uncomfortable, scary, and often helpless.

Well, I guess it should be!

We're talking about our oxygen here - yet how many of us allow ourselves to get so distracted with tasks and activities that ultimately only serve to keep us from our oxygen?

I know I sometimes do.

Could that e-mail wait - or might it feel better to spend some quality time playing with your kid? Which is your oxygen?

Do you really need to clean out that closet right now - or might you spend some time on that next chapter of your book? Which is your oxygen?

Is your favorite TV show really that important - or is there a friend you've been meaning to connect with? Which is your oxygen?

When it's all said and done - and your head hits the pillow at the end of the night - how are you breathing?

Do you go to sleep thinking about everything you wish you could of done that day - or worrying about things you need to do tomorrow - OR - do you just fall asleep satisfied with another day of living oxygen filled?

Ask yourself this: What are your daily oxygen activities? AND... What gets in the way of these activities being fulfilled?

Once we have identified the priorities and the obstacles - the rest is like shooting fish in a barrel (although I do not advocate guns - but fish is delicious!)

Remember, if you need a little help catching your breath - give me a call - the first one is free :)

Much love!

Travis

Labels: direct life coaching, goals, life coaching, oxygen, purpose, travis thomas

I have been out of my routine this week.

I usually blog on Tuesday before teaching acting class, but since this is Spring Break in Palm Beach, my normal writing time was on hiatus. Even on my runs this week I haven't had that one idea come to me that I want to blog about. There are some random thoughts that keep jumping around in my head, but nothing has surfaced as "the idea" to write about this week. In fact, I was even one paragraph into a blog and I scrapped it - it was getting too jumbled and I had just started, so maybe I will save that thought for another day.

Here I am...Wednesday late night...and as my patient (and pregnant) wife sleeps beside me - I write this trying not to keep her up because of the laptop monitor glow (she's a real sensitive sleeper). So, since there is no cohesive blog to dazzle your intellect, here are some thoughts skipping around in my consciousness...enjoy!

* Do you think Ty Pennington (ABC's Extreme Makeover host) knew that he was going to be a mega-superstar by pursuing his dream as a carpenter? Is it possible that he became a carpenter because he loved it - and what happened as a result is due to the fact that he followed his purpose and passions - without outlining or trying to control the results? And, if Ty never made it as a TV star because of his carpentry - would he still be happy? I think I know the answer ;)

* The Florida Gators basketball team repeated as National Champions this week. They had the exact 5 starters that they had when they won it all last year. When they won their first title last year, many were surprised when a few of their stars decided to forgo the NBA draft to stay in college for another year. I mean really - who could pass up guaranteed millions just to stay in college and not make a dime, all the while risking an injury? Even with the win, experts predict that some of their draft-status may have even dropped by staying an extra year. So my questions is - do you think they are happy they stayed? I think I know the answer ;)

* In a letter to his employees this past November, Whole Foods Market CEO John Mackey notified them that he would no longer be taking a salary as their CEO, stating that, "I am now 53 years old and I have reached a place in my life where I no longer want to work for money, but simply for the joy of the work itself and to better answer the call to service that I feel so clearly in my own heart." It is my opinion that John has always been working from his heart - and that success was the result of that vision and passion. He is a pioneer in his industry - and might that be more important that his millions? I think I know the answer ;)

Besides, just look at their motto, "Whole Foods, Whole People, Whole Planet."

What would happen if you followed your heart? What could you do if you steered your life in the direction to do the things that bring you the most joy and fulfillment?

"Yeah Travis, but my passion is my hobby, I could never create a career out of it."

Maybe not - but do you really believe that, or are you just afraid of committing to the one thing you love most? Don't worry - you're not alone.

Rachel Ray was teaching a cooking class in a supermarket before she was discovered. Ty got snatched up for a little show called "Trading Spaces." Will Farrell was a bank teller who decided to get into improv, and Oprah was told she wasn't attractive enough to be an anchor - I guess they were right ;) Now, don't think this blog is about "how to become a star," but these people are merely examples of how following your passions can take you to some awesome heights.

But, don't get it bassackwords! These are people who enjoyed what they were doing before they became stars, in fact, becoming a star wasn't even on their "to do" list. But, strange things happen when you follow your heart.

Unfortunately, more and more people have "made a good living," yet they don't really like what they have. They're the ones who have it bassackwords. It's okay, but it just takes a little effort to go from "a good living" to "living the good life."

Let me leave you with a quote that captures what we are all capable of, from my favorite writer Mary Baker Eddy. She writes, "Each individual must fill his own niche in time and eternity."

Are you fulfilling your niche?

What do you know...maybe this blog has a point after all? Maybe not. Tough, that's all you get this week!

Much love!

Travis
561.676.4583
travislthomas@mac.com

P.S. - Thanks to everyone who purchased a book last week - keep 'em coming! You can use this link to buy a copy for yourself or a friend. Plus, if you want to know more about coaching - or know someone who might want to know more - please be in touch with me. The first chat is always free :)

Labels: christian science, humor, inspiration, life coaching, purpose, self-help, spirituality, travis thomas